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Well everyone I have a long post to make, I apologize for it being so long, but occasionally they have to be made. And I'm thankful to have a place like this board to get it off my chest. With so few people to talk to about situations it really helps, and I'm looking forward to hearing what you all have to say. Recently I have my first case of my wife getting jealous of another woman and it really blindsided me. My wife and I have been honest with each other with even the littlest of things. I'm going to go into quite a bit of detail here so there is a good picture of things. It all started a month/month and a half ago when we first started chatting with another couple. I was really into "Jane" from the get go. We really hit it off. I also got along well with "John" her husband. My wife had seen their profile and agreed they were someone we would like to meet. They had to drive quite a while to come to our city, but were willing because they like going to Club Utopia anyway. Because I had such a good feel about the couple I didn't mind offering up hosting them at our house, and the discussion turned to the point where we thought we would even make a weekend of it. And if we didn't hit it off, we would just end up with a vanilla weekend at our house. During the weeks leading up to meeting we really wanted to get some chatting done so we would know each other a bit better before the weekend arrived. Our schedules for chatting seemed to work best late at night after the young kids were in bed, with the exception of Mrs. Truelove, she likes to go to bed rather early at 10pm. So basically I was chatting every other night or so to both the male and female half of the other couple, while my wife was chatting maybe once a week. I even talked on the phone with Jane twice which was nice. Recently we had been having some misfortune in the swinging community and it was really nice for me to have a strong connection with another couple. I was actually quite overwhelmed. During this time I would ask Mrs. Truelove if it was okay the way we were chatting and she said it was fine. And we were reading all the logs of the chats each of us had the next day anyway. We have done this with other couples in the past and it hasn't been much of a problem. We all met on a Friday at our house and sat around and chatted a bit. Went out to dinner, talked, went to a local adult shop and shopped for club outfits, and went to a hockey game. During which all signs were pointing that things were going really well. I talked to Mrs. Truelove on the side a few times to make sure she was okay with the other guy and that she was okay with play, and she said she was. We get back to our place and get into the hot tub and are really enjoying ourselves. At one point I look over and see Mrs. Truelove with John and they are kissing and hands are under the water. This isn't uncommon for Mrs. Truelove to make a move first because I am quite shy. After seeing her with him, I start making out with Jane. Things are getting really hot and I'm having a lot of fun. I keep peeking over to Mrs. Truelove and she's getting into John as well. At one point Jane is sitting on my lap and we are almost touching. (I later found out this was a point Mrs. Truelove had a little issue with, just because it made her mind drift to the idea we were doing something we weren't) We all discussed we would use protection, and nothing happened there, but it was definitely suggestive that we were doing more than we should even if it was actually just teasing each other. At one point I look over and see Mrs. Truelove going down on John as he is in the hot tub. And I suggest that Jane go over and help them two out. After all, it's kind of fun to fulfill some fantasies. She does for a short bit, but then comes back to me. All this is seeming to go well, and we decide to move it inside. So the men get out of the hot tub, and Jane suggests to Mrs. Truelove that they tease us and make out. Which they do for a short time. Inside we go to the bed room and still pair off with each others partners. I'm really into her, she is really into me, and my wife and John are doing a bit of oral. Things are going great. We are being really loud. I am making comments to turn on Jane by saying she is so hot, and that I am really attracted to her. Which is the truth. I get a condom on, but I am just having a bit of trouble cumming with it on. Not a problem, as I don't mind finishing with Mrs. Truelove at all. I am surprised to find out that Mrs. Truelove came twice from oral, which she has never done before and rarely does she ever cum twice anyway! So now that Jane and I are all wore out. I am watching Mrs. Truelove and she is acting like she is tired and wants to be done. So we all roll over and lay on the bed a while, and Mrs. Truelove is pinching my side. This is the only point the whole weekend where I actually accurately read her mind and figure out she is ready for alone time. John and Jane go into the room we had prepared, and Mrs. Truelove and I are in are bed alone. Mrs. Truelove tells me she was getting a little bit jealous of me and Jane, and that I was being too vocal. She says it's okay, but that she wants me. Obviously feeling like we needed to reconnect a bit. So we make love and go to sleep. The next morning we wake up and talk a little before we go out to meet our friends. Mrs. Truelove states that she had a little jealous, but is okay. Just that I need to pay more attention to her during play tonight, I tell her that we can stop at this point if she wants. She says she is fine. So we spend the day shopping, dinner, and get ready to go to the club. At the club I notice Mrs. Truelove is enjoying the alcohol a bit more than normal. It doesn't surprise me that she is trying to just loosen up a little, and I am okay with that. She starts drinking a bit more and I am the one getting her drinks so I start putting straight soda into it to cut her off. She is plenty loosened up at this point anyway. At one point I check to see if she is still fine with play and she says she is. We're flirting and dancing and having fun and we decide to get a room. In the room things are going fine, and I keep checking with Mrs. Truelove to make sure. I'm checking in on her frequently and she looks to be enjoying herself. And I am really having fun with Jane. Really the most fun I've had with a playmate so far. Still I can't finish, but that is fine, Mrs. Truelove didn't either. So we go back to our own partners and I can kind of tell Mrs. Truelove was still having some issues. She is whispering things like, I really need you. I really want you. And so I am kind of gentle and we make love. Usually we don't do that in a play setting, usually we would be a little rough and it'd be more like sex. But she was definitely wanting us to be intimate. After the play is over we go out to a local restaurant to get some food and Mrs. Truelove is in a sleepy/drunk state and is almost out of it the whole time. Doesn't surprise any of us with how much she drank and the workout we all had that she was really intensifying the alcohol. The next morning around 10am, Mrs. Truelove and I get up, and Mrs. Truelove acting hung over. Which she was. We're all sitting around for an hour or so and Mrs. Truelove wants to lay back down in bed. For the next hour and half or so the other three of us are chatting and I keep checking on Mrs. Truelove bringing her water. I ask if she is okay and she says she is just hung over. Eventually around 1pm I come in the room and I ask her if she is still having issues and she is crying a bit. Says she was jealous the whole weekend and doesn't want to come down and see them anymore. I am still not really clear on how upset she is. Just know that she isn't handling it well. I'm trying not to cause alarm with the couple and they still need to shower, so I am kind of juggling what I think might be a problem upstairs with not trying to offend guests. So I really don't force the issue of getting them out of the house. They do have a long drive ahead of them, and I am not aware that Mrs. Truelove is having that big of a meltdown yet. After they leave around 3pm or so I go up to Mrs. Truelove and now I am made aware that she has actually been having issues since we'd been chatting the first week in. She is upset I didn't ask them to leave sooner, she had been imagining all the things we could have been doing downstairs, and her imagination really went badly. She didn't like that I hit it off so well with Jane, and didn't like I was chatting without her being there all those weeks before. She mentioned one point where I even neglected tucking her into bed, and dismissively said goodnight. Mrs. Truelove tells me she didn't want to get to know Jane because the more she got to know her the more she thought I was more of a match with her than I was with Mrs. Truelove. I am so shocked! Never has Mrs. Truelove ever been less than honest with me before, and I took all her saying it's fine at face value. Never once did I think that she would go along with the whole thing to make me happy. Apparently because I hadn't been connecting with anyone, and Mrs. Truelove say how happy I was to have met a woman that I did connect with, that she went along with it even though she was feeling jealous. Basically after a week of talking it over, we've come to the following points that we agree on: -Mrs. Truelove felt insecure, and inferior to Jane. My comments in bed with Jane really hurt Mrs. Truelove. Especially when I said "I was so attracted to you." to Jane. She thought Jane was someone that I would have wished to have found in life in the sense of a wife. This isn't accurate at all, and it's something I am having a hard time dealing with. Yes I connected very well with Jane, but I have no desire to replace my wife. And I can't make her feel more secure. I can tell her she is beautiful and smart all day long, but unless she accepts it, it's going to be there. -Mrs. Truelove didn't like the lack of interest in girl girl play with Jane. And thought Jane didn't take a sexual interest in her. And maybe even though Jane didn't like her. I didn't realize how important this aspect was to her. It is something I am not that interested in watching. But it made Mrs. Truelove question her attractiveness. Which fed into her feeling insecure. -I didn't recognize that I was bothering my wife with the late night chatting and a couple phone calls. I've been with her for 15 years now and I should have been able to better judge the things she would have been uncomfortable with. Letting her go to bed alone was a huge mistake on my part as I already knew she didn't like me doing it even when I wasn't chatting. She is usually okay with me staying up late even though she doesn't like it. But me up late chatting was a whole new level of uncomfortable. I was neglecting her and I didn't notice. -Mrs. Truelove was dishonest. Even if she did it out of caring for me she did it. We've since discussed how important it is to communicate truthfully no matter what. Although this point is glaringly obvious now. -When I saw signs at the club of her drinking, I should have found a private place for Mrs. Truelove and I to have a talk. I should have noticed the unusual and investigated. I'm going to try to not let myself get so into a woman that I neglect paying attention to my wife. -Mrs. Truelove and I both felt a pressure to play. Even though absolutely not pressured by the other couple, we had a self instilled pressure to play. Not a problem for me, but a problem for Mrs. Truelove for sure. She didn't feel like she could call off play without it being an issue for me. I wouldn't have had a issue with no play, but the implied play was there because we have always talked about it that way. We are more open to the idea of going slow now. -Mrs. Truelove was way emotional as her cycle was to start the following Tuesday. She is apparently much more emotional the weekend before she starts and it was very obvious after the fact. We've agreed that play that weekend is not a wise idea anymore. -having a couple over an entire weekend for the first meet was a mistake. When things went wrong it didn't give us the downtime we needed to reconnect and discuss things. While we had little time here and there, it wasn't enough. And it allowed small feelings to snowball into huge feelings. So the question is where to go from here. I would be so happy to spend another weekend with the other couple, but I don't see that ever happening with the trauma Mrs. Truelove went through with the jealousy. She admits to having fun at certain points, but the emotions that she had at the time are overwhelming her still. She did agree to talk to the other couple from time to time and see where things go. Which is more than I ever expected from her after seeing how she was taking it all. We both agree the other couple was nothing less than really great. But don't know if she can't overcome the jealousy issue. We made the first step of contacting the other couple and sharing some photos that were taken. I was surprised that Mrs. Truelove even wanted to look at them, but she did okay with that. But we said we'd take that really slow and just try to be friends. I did find out, honestly after the whole thing that Mrs. Truelove was indeed attracted to them. But that the jealously kind of got in the way of things. I guess I am doing a few things here. Asking for comments. Similar stories. Helpful advice. Or just plain sharing the experience to get a little tension off my chest. I'm really leaning on the board a bit. It's the first problem that I can call a serious one. And it really took me off guard. I do feel closer to Mrs. Truelove now. And I think there is a better understanding for her now that I would never leave her for anyone, and that my love for her is undying. One last comment here. If the couple that we shared this experience with happens to read it. I really hope you understand that you two were nothing more than great. And we hope you don't think by any of this, that there was any fault to placed on your shoulders, because there wasn't.

The apology was directed to those who have read my other posts in regards to similar topics. In my mind, I feared my redundant posts would bother some. However, I still felt the need to reply as I did. I was not excusing myself for my post in any way. I was simply asking for the readers to bear with another similar posting. It has never been my intention to be rude or socially inept in any way, shape or form. My concern over the cavalier attitude toward the spread of any and all transmitted diseases was stated in a clear and concise manner. At no time did I shun anyone in particular. At no time did I call out one particular group. Not once in my entire membership have I pointed the finger of blame at any single individual or group. (Wal-Mart and the TSA not included) In fact, my post did not challenge your statistic in the slightest. If anything, I agree with them entirely! I simply utilized your posted statistic to make my point. I am at a loss to understand how pointing out the facts while not naming anyone, in particular, as a culprit or guilty party can be construed as rude. Perhaps your heightened sensibilities have you crying wolf where there is none. While I pride myself in my ability to communicate efficiently, there is the rare case where the discussion breaks down to syntax. Perhaps your perception of my written word is where we have a disconnect. I would not presume to think I understand your way of thinking nor would I care to invest that much effort. There are far too many enjoyable pursuits in life for me to sit in wait to insult another poster. I only want to be like the thousands of other members within the SB. I wish to air my concerns without fear of reprisal. The matter at hand is the question of whether to "out" others for possessing cold sores. Not ONCE have I given my thoughts in this regard as I have not made my decision. You speak as if I have and therefore I find you guilty of the very same transgression of which you have accused me. I, however am beyond challenge as I have not committed such an act. You are entitled to your opinion. This, above all else, is what makes both this board and this country so great! I applaud your use of the board to pose your views. I would never, no matter how great my opposition to your beliefs, attempt to curtail them or your speech in the slightest! Please, let us put this argument aside as it harbors nothing but ill will between others. Let us, instead, focus on the initial question. Your point has been made and I thank you for sharing with us. However, there are others in this community of whom we have not heard and, as has been the point of this board, let a meeting of the minds ensue. As a group, perhaps we can come to some conclusion!

I only have my view and our agreement to use in my reply to this. First, I would have to say that Poly is an absolutely AMAZING thing. If there was aonther individual(s) in the world whith which I could feel as I do with Mrs. CXXC, I would not know what to do with myself. That possiblity scares the hell out of me as well. There may well be another person out there to which I could feel emotionally connected to in such a way as to share my heart as I do with Mrs. CXXC. FRIGHTENING! The fact that MRs. CXXC could fall in love with another is equally frightening to me. I truly don't know if and or how I would deal with it. We have agreed that if one or the other begins to feel pulled toward a playmate in an emotional way, we cut the connection. We can not EVER see them, contact them, communicate with them again. We are simpl;y ill prepared to deal with or understand the workings of that type of relationship. I say this now, but tomorrow, who knows. I just know that we dont have enough information to understand the poly relationship. Again, it is an awesome ability to love more than one so completely. It would be an even greater trick in my mind to pull it off. But, in my ignorance and present fear, I cannot willingly accept it.