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Everyone else has given some pretty good advice here. But I'm feeling a bit like the devil's advocate right now. According to your other threads, you have participated in MFMs...He's already had time to process through his feelings of doubt and uncertainty when the topic of MFM play was introduced. Perhaps some of your uncertainty comes from the fact he turned the tables by saying that his fantasy is a full swap. Does it make you wonder now if he just did the MFMs so he could eventually get 'his turn' with someone else? So now you have to play catch up in processing through your feelings...added to that now you are feeling like the other 3 folks are ready to rip their clothes off and get hot and sweaty but your're holding up the party. Sure, rules are rules. Apparently there was some discrepancy in what constitutes a PDA. Perhaps they thought if there was no handholding, kissing, hugging then they were in the clear and no rule was breached. Obviously you weren't having as good of a time shooting pool as the other 3 because you were too busy paying attention to the people around you and worrying what they were thinking of 4 adults shooting pool and getting a little rowdy as people are want to do after having a few drinks, shooting pool, and having a fun night out without children or other chaperones. Do you have a connection with the hubby of the other couple? For the record, before I/we were anywhere near being involved in the LS, I had a horrible reputation of pinching bootys, poking those bootys with my pool cue, among other distraction methods while shooting pool to improve my chances of winning the game. And even if you go through with the get together this weekend...you aren't going to be happy even if its just same room sex...of course your hubby is going to be watching...there is a live porno going on on the next bed. Call a halt to all playtime (MFMs included) until the two of you can sort things out and verify that you are on the same page.

Wow, I think Vegas Lee, Slevin and CXXC have presented points for both sides pretty well. This is just some observational comments and some food for thought: There is no right or wrong when it comes to your emotions. It doesn't matter if your husband is right or you are right. This isn't a contest of wills to debate. The minute either of you feel uncomfortable, for any reason, justified or not, then playtime is over, period. There is no making each other feel guilty or pressuring the other. You stop until you resolve the issue. Emotions are not right or wrong, they are feelings and feelings are rarely rational. If the two of you can't agree and be respectful of each other in that regard then you are headed for a ... Swinging is great once you both are ready for it. If you are going to move forward, I'd tone it back to say maybe voyeurism but I wouldn't go beyond that yet. You may lose this couple but there are plenty more. Take your time, get both of your heads wrapped around this a little better and then try again. The lifestyle isn't going anywhere. Best of luck to you both.

Mr.Truelove, You seem to be a really great husband. Mrs.Truelove, there is nothing wrong with experiencing jealousy. We ALL do. You obviously had the best of intentions, regardless if the outcome was ideal. I would hope from this point, you only see yourself as the catalyst for the GROWTH in your relationship. While this is predominantly a swingers board, I think you would benefit from a lot of what the polyamorous community has to say about Jealousy. I am including some links, that should be very thought provoking for you. Jealousy and the Abyss Polyamory: Dealing with Jealousy Polyamory: How to Be a Secure Person While Swingers like to separate themselves from the Poly lifestyle, we can all learn from each other. The poly sites tend to have some very good reading about Jealousy, and how to understand, and work with it. And at the end of the day, a Mya Angelo quote is always good to remember; " You did the best you knew how to do, and when you knew better, you did better." You two will only grow from this, is you keep the doors open, and communicate. Jealousy derives itself from fear. Don`t let fear own you. Best to both of you, you seem like a very smart, happy couple