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I read a funny list somewhere, probably on this site, of ways to know whether or not you're a swinger. On that list was something to the effect of "You know you're a swinger if you'd rather go to a strip club with your wife than with the guys". My wife and I occasionally go to a strip club. I would NEVER go to a strip club with my guy friends. Artificially sexually charged vanilla settings weren't all that exciting to me before I was a swinger, and they're just downright boring, and even a little insulting, to me now. After you've been in a room with a large number of naked people having sex in various combinations, A waitress with big boobs and a tight shirt just isn't all that noteworthy anymore. Add that to the hypocrisy on display (99% of the people paying to see whatever lame display it may happen to be would judge my wife and I quite unfavorably if they knew about our lifestyle, yet they see it as perfectly alright as long as it's fake and they can hide it from their spouses), and I really have little to no interest. However, if it keeps the hard core vanillas distracted from the fact that there are places with REAL sexually charged atmospheres in the world, then I guess these establishments are doing us a favor. If the city council is busy worrying about a proposed Hooters, then maybe they won't be hassling the house party that's no doubt going on somewhere else.

So far you haven't mentioned what your SO's thoughts and wishes are in this. Is he perfectly OK and satisfied with your situation or is he experiencing dissatisfaction and frustration in this? Also, are you truly comfortable and having a good time in the lifestyle or are you just going along to appease him? I'm not you, but personally I would really feel like a 3rd wheel or a lead weight if I was going to clubs and just sitting on the sidelines. Are you actually comfortable with this or is it causing you distress and discomfort? I'll be blunt here but it's not meant to be malicious, Yes, you are holding your SO back and yes he will be able to have sex with more people as a single guy without you in the picture. By the same token he is holding you back and you will be able to have sex with more people if he wasn't in the picture. When people enter into a relationship/marriage their opportunities for sex with other people decrease. In the rest of the world that is accepted and assumed. In the swinging community people sometimes struggle with that concept. What swinging attempts to do is balance the concepts of having sex with a variety of people while still being in a bonded relationship. You two are not in balance and IMHO their are a lot more issues here than if someone should have a single profile or not. From what I see you are not swinging, you are just tagging along while your SO tries to score and I don't see what it is you are getting out of it or how it is benefiting you, your SO or your relationship. If your SO is wanting to have sex with as many other people as he can then it IS in his best interests to have a single male profile. If he wants to maximize his sexual opportunities with lots and lots of people then it is in his best interests to not be in a relationship with you at all. If deep down you are wanting to have a traditional, monogamous relationship then it is in your best interests to not be going to swinger clubs and not be in a relationship with someone who wants to be a swinger. Your best interests would be served by being in a relationship with someone who also desires to be in a monogamous, traditional relationship. I think if you were both OK with this we wouldn't even be having this conversation. There are lots of people that have both a singles profile and a couples profile and it works for them. I think there may be some relationship issues here that need to be addressed more than whether he should have a single profile or not. I'm not saying that you two are not right for each other or that you should split up over this. I am saying that you have some very deep, fundamental core issues that you two need to sit down and discuss very thoroughly. You both need to do some soul-searching and be very honest with yourself as well as with each other as to what kind of relationship you want to have and if swinging is going to play any role in that or not, and if so how you will work it out so that it is comfortable and workable for each of you.