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Showing content with the highest reputation on 03/03/2010 in Posts

  1. 1 point
    WOW, what a post, lol. Curiosity and Insecurity seem to be the two biggest things I pull out of your story. She's curious enough to go to see what it is about but too insecure to think about the possibilities beyond some voyeuristic fun. Swinging is about trust and while the two of you may be deeply in love, the trust (in the context of swinging) has a long way to go still. You both are on the younger side of the scene and have plenty of time. Don't rush it. Most people do not understand swinging and why people do it. Many never will and some will but still will not do it themselves. The ability to think of sex as something recreational is not easy and even those of us that can think of it that way still have our fair share of emotional stress on occasion. Continue to work on your relationship, plant a seed now and let it grow. Not only did my wife eventually come to terms with swinging when I brought it up but she took the horse by the reigns and led the charge. It took two years for that to happen. Exercise patience and understanding and be thankful that she seems to have an open mind even though she isn't able to accept the idea of sharing yet. There is no rush and if and when she comes to terms with the idea, and if she thinks she would like to try it, it won't be something you had to drag her into but something she made a conscious decision to do with you as a couple.
  2. 1 point
    You have to be able to talk with your wife openly. The one thing that I believe everyone will agree on is that communication is key to successful swinging. Everything else is arguable, lol, but if you can't talk openly about the idea of swinging then how will you manage to talk about uncomfortable things that come up when you are swinging? I believe you are sincere but give your wife a little credit that she will be able to handle the discussion maturely. I always say this but get your reasons ready. Not why YOU want to do it but what you think it will bring to the relationship. As an example, my wife and I wanted to recapture that lustful feeling you get from meeting and being with someone new. It had nothing to do with a bad sex life because we had a great sex life. It was just that we had settled into our routines and this allowed us to shake things up some and after a year, we are even closer than we ever were before. Yes, sleeping with others did bring us closer because we did it together and in the presence of each other and we have both benefited from the experiences. It also took us two years to make the decision. Plant the seed through your discussions and be respectful. Let her come to her own decisions and never push. Bring her here to these boards and let her read on her own what others have said, issues they have faced. It helps by reading the stories of others and then talking about what you would have done had you been in that situation. The idea is for her to get comfortable with it. The next thing is for you to get comfortable with it also. You may think you are ready but the moment you see another man touching your wife will be the moment of truth. You both have a lot to consider. The rewards are amazing if you can handle it. Best of luck.
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