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Good points on all levels. Now what have you achieved? A sexual conquest, the price of which is pain or anger or resentment... To all parties, was it worth it?

If I was you wife, Elle would have gotten a kiss good night and that was it. She should have not let it go any further if she was truely not interested. Yes, Elle was being pushy. Your wife should have pushed back and you should have had her back if she could not handle the situation. Hope this has been a lesson learned. Think with your head, not with your head

Or you could just be wrong, it happens

You're a guy who hasn't been in touch with this woman for at least a couple years and you offer up a lunch meet...she comes back with the suggestion of drinks late in the day. Come on man, she was hitting on you, you picked up the signs and hit right back with the suggestion to meet for lunch. She one upped you with the suggestion to "meet late in the day over drinks." Right now she's got all kinds of fantasies going on about having sex with you. I have no doubt this is about her hearing about you being a swinger (or maybe a player, or a cheater). This is so easy to figure out it's embarrassing me to have to explain it to you...ah, but let's get real, you know darn well what she did, and what you did, and you're fantisizing about getting it on with this gal. That's a fun and perfectly okay fantasy to have. Here's the thing. She may have no clue about how swinging works. She may think you'll do it with her without Mrs. Ekies knowledge. She may not know that would be cheating. What does Mrs. Ekies think about all this? Is she an old friend of Mrs. Ekies, too? A long lost friend doesn't set up a special meeting to discuss a rumor. You're just looking for some fun and so is she. Out-of-touch-with friends who mention they've heard a rumor about you are rumor spreaders, IMO. Play with her and she'll have a great true story to spread that will become another "rumor" around town. If you do meet, tell this woman that Mrs. Ekies is coming along. Then see if you notice a change in your friend's enthusiasm to meet. If you all meet, why would you acknowlege that you are swingers? What point would there be in doing so unless you and Mrs. Ekies are considering playing with her? This could could be one big mistake. Think it over carefully and be sure Mrs. Ekies is with you all the way in this. You've already given this woman the impression that you would like to meet her alone. It may seem innocent to you, but I'm sure she's not seeing it this way. I wouldn't if I were her. Flip the coin and this could turn out to be an opportunity for play. But with what you've given me, it doesn't feel right. This needs to be approached carefully and be sure you're thinking with the bigger head. LM

Trace, I think you have to clear your mind of all the 'what if's' and just meet to hear what she has to say and cross that bridge when you come to it. Obviously you're on your toes right now ready to walk on egg shells, but I think your response to her filling you in on the rumor will have to be in how you perceive her tone; judgemental, intrigue, curiosity etc. My first train of thought since you aren't close with her, and therefore she wouldn't care about you enough to discuss any rumor she heard, is that she may have heard a rumor that you are swingers, is curious and interested in exploring it further, but you want to be very astute and tight lipped on it until you read her body language on it and why she's talking to you about it at all. Lee, I have to disagree about being honest and open only in the context that business could be hurt causing more of a hardship on the family if clients pull out and sales are lost. Trace, if you perceive, at all, that in your business circles this could hurt you and your livelihood, then I would simply say that you've picked up on the rumors too, but they're not true; it must have started because you have some friends that are swingers.