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The problem is comparing personal preference to institutional racism, which is what Jim Crow laws were about. In swinging, just as in dating, physical attraction is almost always the first in a series of elements that lead to a relationship. There are physical elements within my race that I find attractive and others I don't. The same is true of woman of color. Some I find attractive others I don't. Honestly, I find a larger portion woman of my race attractive than the percentage of black women I find attractive. I have never had sex with a black women, but it is not out of the question. If we click then it could happen. Maybe I am wrong, but I would think I would not be interested in black women at all if it were racism. Is it racist that I find some black women attractive and others not? What makes it more difficult is that all 4 within a couple must click, lowers the odds. So in the end it is about preferences. To be sure there are racist and racism. There are far more important issues impacted by racism than who someone chooses to have sex. And it is particularly difficult and look at someones preferences and say that is racism, even if they say their preference is to have sex only within their race. Some people see racism in everything, the possibility that someone just finds them unattractive never occurs to them. They blame the lack of connection on the other persons racism, regardless of anything else. Ironically, that seems like racism.

I know how important it is to a man to get an erection, nice and hard, but I have patience, and sex can still be enjoyable while you wait. At times it is necessary for me to do something I haven't done before or if we are with someone else, do some different things to help him get it up. I don't mind at all. It is part of life, last resort, use the pills but sometimes he says the side effects make sex less enjoyable.