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Showing content with the highest reputation on 07/04/2010 in Posts

  1. 1 point
    Decisions about this sort of thing are the hardest for so many parents, mostly because we want better for our children than we had ourselves. We wanted the behaviors to be simple and also ones that we wanted offspring to emulate. Here's what we did: 1. At home, clothes were optional and doors were (generally) open. Closed doors were always respected, and knocking required. 2. At home displays of affection (non-erotic) are always appropriate--both words (I love you) and acts (hugs and kisses). 3. Drugs are and remain an absolute _never_. 4. Alcohol with permission and always in moderation (kids have a tiny 1 oz. glass of wine when the adults open a bottle with dinner). 5. When the time is appropriate, sex under our roof (where your offspring are in complete control of the situation). We stuck by these rules, and they served everyone very well. As an aside, we are the only parents among offsprings' circles of friends who remain married and very much in love after three decades. Apparently casual nudity, displays of affection and open, age-appropriate conversation about sex are not the cause of failed relationships; in fact they might be the vaccine against such failure. Now, a few comments: 1. ALL 8 year old boys will be grossed out by mom and dad kissing. This age is about getting dirty, catching frogs, comic books, avoiding girls etc. Enjoy his innocence, it will not last. 2. Girls at all ages are looking at mom as a role model. She is taking more notes than you can possibly imagine. It is absolutely okay for daughter to see a passionate kiss and even a stolen grope. It is absolutely okay for her to hear a satisfied 'Mmmmm' after that kiss. You are Prince Charming and your wife is the Princess. Rest assured that your daughter will want to play-act those roles...and that boys of comparable age will run screaming in the other direction. Expect to find Ken and Barbie dolls hugging and kissing. This has nothing to do with promiscuity. Enjoy it while you can. When the hormones kick in, daughter and mom will become locked in mortal combat (from daughter's perspective) for your affections. This is normal biology. If you and your spouse have not found the book It's perfectly normal Amazon.com: It's Perfectly Normal: Changing Bodies, Growing Up, Sex, and Sexual Health (The Family Library) (0732483004335): Robie H. Harris, Michael Emberley: Books it's worth picking up and sharing with your kids at the appropriate time in their lives.
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