VegasLee is absolutely correct.
I'm reminded of a thread from last year that went on for something like 27 pages. The couple in question was told they were being stupid, over and over again. Nobody thought what they were doing was smart, and everyone thought it was going to end in disaster. Those of you who might remember; it was the couple that the wife was going to play solo with a guy half her age to 'educate' him about sex.
That ended in absolute disaster, and their young child got caught squarely in the crosshairs.
Stupid, stupid, stupid.
Look...
Yes, you DO want to spoil the fun. Good grief, when my wife is enjoying it WAAAAAAAY too much I'm tickled pink! Woohoo!!! FANTASTIC! For you, your wife enjoying it is a threat.
You are too insecure for this lifestyle. You have serious control and jealousy issues and don't seem to have an ability to recognize them, or to read and understand the fantastic advice that's been given to you already.
There's no way in hell I'd play with your wife, even if she was the most fantastic woman the world has ever seen. I'd forever being terrified of helping her enjoy it "too much" and what your insane reaction to it might be. You're a 50mt hydrogen dramabomb waiting to go off.
If you put on your profile "Husband has issues with his wife enjoying swinging too much", nobody would ever want to meet with you. What the hell are you in the lifestyle for? It's who you are? Like hell it is. Your desires, intentions, and wants have as much to do with swinging as snow has to do with Somalia. You're trying to fit a square peg the size of Mars into a hole designed for a mouse to pass through.
SWINGING IS NOT FOR YOU. Get over it.
Sorry to be so ridiculously blunt; it is not my style to be so. This is just too much to be believed.