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I am not familiar with the history of the other posts, but if they are on the same subject and the OP has received the similar replies, it's truly a shame. Unless there is some sort of deceit on his part, this is a difficulty the couple is experiencing and are attempting to work through. Looking for advice in Situational Help but finding an abundance of condemnation. Come on everyone, I think it's fair to say that none of us have participated in this alternative sexual lifestyle without some challenges. Swinging is an evolution that we all have chosen to take part in. Maybe it would be best to err on the side of compassion and empathy. If one has nothing constructive to offer, then perhaps it's best left unsaid. Who has dictated that the only way to swing is with either one detaching from their own partner while "enjoying themselves too much"? After all, isn't this supposed to be a team activity in which both partners should be in full agreement and comfortable with all that transpires? This issue is of particular interest to me since my wife and I have been challenged by what may be similar issues. In our discussions before interacting with other couples, we have mutually discussed a desire to "stay connected" some way during the experience. It's just what we have wanted up to this point. However, my lovely wife can tend to get very caught up in the moment. Wonderful to see her enjoy herself so completely, but it can be a challenge for me to stay focused and perform under those circumstances. Consciously or sub- consciously could this also be the reason for some performance issues that seem to effect many men? Just last week we had the opportunity to play with another couple two consecutive nights. They had also expressed a desire to stay connected with their s.o. during sex. The first night a good time was had by all, however in her excitement, my wife had some difficulty staying connected with me and I had some minor performance issues. During the next day we talked about how much fun we had and how we could improve on the experience later that night. Well, when the 4 of us got together in the evening, it was spectacular. Both couples managed to stay enjoyably connected to their partners, yet there was plenty of full swap sex, own partner sex and MFM time for the ladies. When it was over, everyone was in complete agreement about how fantastic it had been. So, my advice anc is if both of you mutually desire to keep swinging, do it. If you both desire to stay connected during a foursome, keep talking about it and working towards that goal. It may most enjoyably happen when you least expect it. Frequently although men are the initiators regarding entering the lifestyle, once there the ladies often adapt most quickly. Staying connected during the experience can certainly help with any normal, minor insecurities that may cause. Hope this helps.

Those answers do not equate to assessing STD risk. They are trying to use a crystal ball to determine if the partners they choose will have an STD. Assessing STD risk to me is understanding how the various STDs are transmitted, the risk associated with each, the implications of catching it and how widespread they are. Then you choose whether you want to be sexually active or not. It's knowing the risk and consciously accepting the risk; not trying to use a crystal ball.