Leaderboard

I may not be alone in this, I have a question. Since I like to watch my wife in certain circumstances with another partner, the visual aspect of our adventures is kinda important. With that preface, I have a question for my fellow eyeglass wearers... Do you keep your glasses on, did you get contact lenses, do you just squint, and what is your preferred method of enjoying the view when your eyesight is challenged?

midnight....YOU are the one who came here for advice. We can only tell you what YOU can do. If your wife was the one here with the concerns and asking the questions, then we could tell HER. So I don't know how we could have "expressed any thoughts that she should examine her actions" as you would have liked. You see how that works? I'm not suggesting your wife doesn't have her own problems and contributions to this issue. We just haven't heard them. And you telling us her side of the story doesn't make the cut...that's kinda like hearsay. We're not here to give one-sided support for something that doesn't merit it. Additionally, I will speak up for a person when I feel he/she is being mistreated or misinterpreted by his/her spouse...especially if it seems she is being deceived about the lifestyle as your wife is by you (I am the husband in this duo, by the way). And I don't feel your wife is mistreating you rather, like I said earlier, I feel it was your mistreatment and lack of foresight early in your marriage that has put you here. She is and was who you married; the vanilla, puritan, conservative, "good girls don't talk about that" kinda woman. She always has been, always will be...so its not like you didn't understand what you were getting when you signed on...and its unfair to expect change if she never wanted it. Remember, these are assumptions based on what you have told us about your wife...so I wont speculate too much, but that's all I can go on. And more, you can only control YOURSELF and what YOU do...you cant influence control over her, you cant change her, you cant even make her empathize with your "problems" if she doesn't want to (with that principle, it makes me skeptical if you'll even understand the problems about you that we have highlighted here...I digress). I'm sorry, I don't pity someone of your age; someone who has had the time and freedom to make the decisions he has and now in the twilight years feels he is entitled to something more. Either suck it up or institute a drastic change...but remember, whatever you do, YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY VARIABLE IN THIS EQUATION. Your wife has also been married for 40+ years, and if you have been a "supportive husband" as you claim, imagine the destruction you can do to her if you expect more from her at this point in your lives and cause change. She maybe happy with what she has and if you change it, that may just sink her deeper into a depression. Just love your wife for who she is, no labels, no expectations...and if being in the lifestyle is what you want, then tell her. If she doesn't accept that, you have the two choices I gave you, suck it up or dissolve your marriage...because cheating, although an option, isn't a valid choice for healthy people. If you choose to suck it up (which would be the most rewarding, I think), then I suggest you delete your swinging based online accounts and go on a nice vanilla Mediterranean cruise (or something awesome like that) with your wife and enjoy the years you have left. Sex isn't everything; if you think it is, you will be lonely and miserable. You don't have much time left.

I'm thinking that as we get older, poor eyesight may be an asset sexually. Things being a bit fuzzy around the edges might well be a good thing particularly once we get to the nursing home. I think then the glasses will stay on the bedside table!

I leave my contacts in but I've been known to play in glasses when my play partner thinks they're sexy

You're surprised that the members here have expressed concern for your safety and want to help you avoid the possibility of getting arrested? Funny, that doesn't strike me as hostile. You've been given some sound advice from those in the know. Either way, it's still your life to live and you have to live with the consequences. For ya'll sake, I hope it turns out wonderfully. If not . . . well . . . caveat emptor. =)