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I know you asked where to start, but I wanted to respond to it in a different way. 1) How can you have a completely open marriage but she won't share you? Does that mean you can't be involved in an MFM? Can't be with another woman? Does not sound completely open. 2) What do you mean when you say you have that part taken care of? Already something on the side? Sorry if that's presumtuous but that's where my mind went...presuming! Before you go further you need talk and find out exactly what each of you want and what the boundaries are. And if she wants to play and does not allow you to; that sounds like a recipe for issues.