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This thread, and I only read parts brings up so many questions and problems with how people view their relationships. The idea that trust is somehow unrepairable after a sexual encounter is so deeply ingrained in our society, yet makes no sense. Our society is so afraid of sex, so scared of sex, so controlled by sex. God, I think swingers are some of the most well adjusted people I know, we/they seem to get it in a very positive and life affirming way. We have a healthy and appropriate attitude towards sex, not giving it too much control on our relationships, understanding what and how sex fits into our lives. People in relationships do things that can erode a partners trust that have nothing to do with sex/swinging/infidelity and yet those are often forgiven, but not anything related to sex. What about: a partner that spends to much money jeopardizing a families financial well being a partner that is disrespectful to another, or a child or friends a partner that beats or humiliates another publicly a partner that simple ignores another a partner that partakes in dangerous activities Do you see where I'm going here. Relationships are very complex and at their core require a deep love of one another that can withstand all the shit that happens throughout. I for one wouldn't immediately divorce my wife over an infidelity. Frankly, I'd want to explore what went wrong, why did she feel the need to go outside, what wasn't I providing etc. Now for many men, I'd look weak, but that's just ego's talking. Maybe it would be the beginning of the end, but not because of the infidelity itself. That is a symptom not a cause. As far as re-connecting after swinging, or a business trip or a particularly difficult week. Oh my god, that is one of the greatest parts of a healthy and happy long term relationship. My wife and I depend upon each other to provide stability and comfort in our life. Re-connecting is not a sigh of a problem, but of a deep and wonderful friendship. Re-connecting for us after swinging is similar to reconnecting after one of us has been traveling. We want to hear about the adventure, we want to participate at least vicariously, we want to provide a place to let our any positive and negative feelings that may have come, we want to get on the same page and take on the next day TOGETHER. Re-connecting is our opportunity to continue to be A COUPLE. That in my book is what being in a relationship is. Big Rock, (interesting handle you've chosen). You're young and I'd say driven a lot by your emotions and ego. I agree that you should not be in this relationship, and I'd suggest you consider what happened carefully. Not from the perspective that SHE DID SOMETHING TO YOU, but rather what do you bring to the relationship. You are as much the perpetrator as the victim here. We are all both to some degree. Good luck!

I never watched soap operas and now I know why but Does anyone know what time the seduction from her alien sister from Mars will be joining this party I'd sure hate to miss that episode! I've gone full circle from sympathy to laughing out loud, seriously I thank you Bigrock your little "drama" it's frankly very amusing and completely unbelievable. Off to finish reading this weeks National Enquire so this "forum" might be a bit more believable. The dumb blonde next door.