Leaderboard

When we first started our decision as to whether we played with a particular couple was based upon the same criteria we used in determining whether to date someone and that was largely based on whether we could see ourselves in a relationship. Over time we changed and now we make the determination on whether we think they will be fun in the sack. We have learned not to judge the book by it's cover. I remember a time when we were at a party in Shreveport and we got to talking to this guy that was way overweight. Neither of us would have approached him. It turns out that my mate and he had gone to high schools that were rivals and knew some of the same folks. When he suggested that the three of us go play she thought "oh well wtf." it turned out he was one of the best lovers she has ever had. He brought her to more orgasms than she had ever had and taught me a couple of tricks that I use from time to time. I also remember the woman who was knock out gorgeous (I later learned she was a beauty queen). She was the worse fuck I have ever had. I used to say there is not bad sex, but not any more after her. My advice is try to be open and non judgmental. Don't screw someone just because they ask, but also don't rule them out until you spend some time with them. That's what flirting and foreplay is about. You will find some great and some bad playmates in all ages and physical shapes.

No, there's nothing wrong with dabbling. Swinging is what each and every individual involved makes of it, for themselves. However, there is one underlying characteristic that should be shared by all involved in swinging (regardless of the degree of their participation), and that's an understanding that it will be different for everyone and just because it's not right for me, doesn't mean it's not right for others. You never have to understand the why's and how's of what others do, but striving for a nonjudgmental attitude towards others and what "gets them off" or "does it for them", whether it's something you could ever see yourself doing or not, is something that is vital in swinging. I'm not sure you have this understanding...yet, as the following statements seem (to me) as if you do judge people as being wrong and/or bad for going beyond what you think is appropriate. What you described above could very well have been me. What's wrong with making out with different people throughout the night? Does assuming this lady was "single" make it a bit more appropriate to you? There's nothing wrong with saying, "That's not for me",...what's wrong is sneering down you nose at someone and thinking less of them because they choose to go further than you. You never have to participate in anything you don't want to, but do realize that there are those out there that will and do go beyond what you think is okay and it's perfectly okay and right for them. two4youinswva pretty much covered my feelings on this statement. I'm glad you've learned that there are many different levels of swinging; however, here again...."aren't picky enough", "too loose", "blinders on"....you may have learned about the differences, but you haven't gotten to the point where you understand that there's NOTHING WRONG with those differences. So, in other words...dabble if you want, be too picky or not picky enough if you want...it's about what makes you and your husband happy. Just remember don't think that because others go further than you could ever imagine yourself doing, that they are wrong or bad people for doing so...they're not, they are doing what they think/feel is right for them. Teresa