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I've heard of soft swapping, but this feels more like an ultra-light kind of thing! My wife and I have talked a lot about swinging and other "swingish" activities. In the relationship, I'm the crazy one; willing to try new things, open minded, morally free (I have morals, they just don't sway me that much) She's the conservative one; happy with more vanilla things, has more moral guidance than I do, but has a wild imagination. Through lots of talking (and a couple *ahem* disagreements) I think we've pegged down what we (okay, the limits are hers, I'm the crazy one) comfortable with. 1. No swapping. 2. Sex in same room with another couple would be fine, being naked, etc. Just no cross touching. 3. Sex online for others to watch sounds exciting. (though difficult, see below) 4. She's free to flirt, play with, and / or screw my guy friend (he's single and they've messed around before) Now here comes the parts I'd like advice with. First, we find the idea of having sex on camera to be thrilling. Problem is, most webcam sites (chatroulette, etc) have rules against such things, not to mention minors. What are our options there? Also, she gave me permission to go to strip clubs by myself. She's never given permission for anything like that ever...she's very possessive of me. She says she would try going with me, but likely sit in a dark corner and try to hide. Should I take her, go by myself (more likely with my friend) or just avoid it altogether?

I must disagree, WhatisTruth. The laws that are in place make the situation worse. Among other things, they've created a system wherein the businessmen settle their differences with gunfire. Thousands of teenagers are being killed yearly, as many by crack cocaine as bullets. In my opinion, we must legalize all "Crimes Without Victims," tax them (including the hookers, and other industrial "workers," who would start paying income tax) and use the proceeds to fund Health Care, which would, in turn, treat addicts. Leftover tax proceeds (there would be lots!) could go to education, particularly parents of college students, thus allowing me, at age 71, to really retire. Alura

When you talk to her make sure to tell her that she shouldn't tell her husband that the three of you are already game, if he is! It'll only put him on the defensive. I'd suggest she start off very safe with him and just say that you'd mentioned that you think he's rather hot. Flattery works! And, just watch him flirt with you the next time you're all four out! The three of you are in and it's just a matter of him getting in. But, it needs to seem to be his idea!

These are my opinions so take them for what their worth. For me, this isnt swinging by any means. But what really matters is that your BOTH comfortable with the rules. #1 Ok I get that. #2 If I understand you mean sex with only each other and no touching the other couple? Please correct me if I'm wrong. This is possible, but will only likely happen at clubs in open play areas. However you may find a couple willing to do this out side a club. #3 Not sure about this one, live web cam with another couple maybe, but unless you can see them too, I would becareful. #4 She can play with your friend, but you cant play with anyone? Seems one sided to me, but its what your both cool with. As far as visiting a strip club, I dont have an answer there! I think you both still need to do more talking. How do you feel about not being able to play with other women? Like I said if both of you are 100% ok with the arrangements then go for it! Just know that most people that swing, are either soft swap or full swap and do it for the sex. We would have no interest in these types of activities. We have done the web cam thing a few times and it was thrilling, but its not what we are in to. Your pool of willing couples might be small. Good luck!