Leaderboard

Interesting take on rules. First, I have no problem with people having rules, particularly newbies. It's their safe harbor. Swinging is not a social norm, so sometimes people need define their comfort zones. Rules are one way to do that. I would agree, that most of the rules I see I would think silly for my wife and I, but if the other couple wants them, who am I to judge. If I don't like their rules I can move on. Second, when we started out in the LS, we had a million rules. We read somewhere that you should have them, so we did. After our first experience we threw out the vast majority, because we realized that we did not need them. But what remained were a few core rules, more like guidelines actually, that are meant to protect ourselves. They are actually part of our open communication and are refined often. In fact rules like condom usage are really more for our partners so we are clear upfront with everyone. We trust each other completely, but we do not extend that level of trust to others, some rules/guides are to help prevent situations that could become less than desirable. So rules do not need to be born out of distrust, they can be born out of love, respect and desire to protect each other. Just like I tell my kids all the time, the rules are not there because we don't love you, in fact, completely the opposite. If we did not love you we wouldn't care enough to have any rules to begin with.