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I think there's a lot of emphasis here on the other guy as the bad guy and I think that's the wrong way to approach things. It's not his responsibility to keep your marriage happy and to enforce the rules in your marriage--it's yours and hers. If SHE agreed to take a break with you then it's her responsibility to uphold that, not his. He isn't doing anything to or with her without her consent. If he is asking her to do things that she told you she wouldn't do, then it's her responsibility to say "no" to him. I will also say, having lived this myself, that if she is seeing the same person regularly, by herself, it's a very real possibility that she has developed serious feelings for him. Based on the things you say that sounds exactly like what has happened. She's not a bad person for that--it's just really hard to have great sex with the same person for a long time without getting emotionally attached. Sometimes our feelings do things we didn't intend them to do. People rarely *decide* to fall in love, after all. I'd say you have a couple of options at this point: 1. You can accept that she has feelings for this person, and that her relationship with him is no longer *solely* about enhancing your marital sex life. It's something she does for its own sake. There are a lot of people who have open relationships like this, and a lot of groups and discussion forums (Google "polyamory") that can help you navigate into that kind of lifestyle. 2. If you cannot tolerate her having an emotional relationship with someone else, you need to ask her to stop seeing him NOW. I know you don't want to hurt her or take away something she enjoys, but whatever hurt she'd feel about losing him now will be far worse down the line when she gets even more attached. Insist on her honoring that break she agreed to, at least until you guys can sort out how to deal with this. That's my two cents, anyway. Good luck!