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Comparison is the thief of joy. Did you enjoy it? Did your partner? If so, then roll with it. We're not all the same.

So first, a story. My wife and I have been together for about 6.5 years and married for 3.5. We started swinging about six months ago and everything in that area has been dandy. However, a couple weeks ago a friend told me that my wife has been smoking behind my back. When I confronted her about it, she lied. The next day she came to me in tears admitting that she had lied, and that she has been doing it for the majority of our relationship (five of the six years). She admitted she was wrong, stating that it just got to be this big awful secret that she was afraid and paralyzed by. The truth is that I could care less that she was smoking, but the lies and deceit it what really broke my heart. As far as I know, this is the only time/thing she has ever been deceitful about. When I found out, I immediately decided to take an extended break from swinging until I could get my barrings back. Now, two different friends, one a swinger who knows about our LS and the other being my best friend, have both suggested that trust can be compartmentalized. Meaning, just because she lied/deceived about smoking doesn't mean I cant trust her in general. For example, I may not trust her to smoke but I can trust her to swing with other people and still be faithful. Interesting. Ive always believed that you either trusted a person, or you didn't. They either have your best interest in mind, or they don't. Simple as that. What do you guys think?

At least part of the reason for being deceitful was a fear of your reaction. That fear is the issue y'all need to address, not the lie itself. Alura

She came clean. You can dwell on it and put your life on hold or you can move on and have a good relationship with her, that is your choice. As you stated, she has given you no reason to think she is lying about anything else so I see no reason personally to dwell on this and make more of it then it is. You wake up tomorrow and it is a new day, use it for good and forget what happened yesterday, makes for a much easier life.