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Well I will be the (sometimes usual) voice of dissent. Yes, to an extent I keep score. Why? Because I can lol Seriously...the score keeping is not an exact science...but serves a reminder of things that I would like to try that aren't exactly a priority to him (like a MFM). While it isn't necessarily a tit for tat sort of thing at this time...he is definitely ahead in the FMF column (in overall experiences as well as experiences we've shared). For some reason it seems he can't quite get the point that I would like him to be involved, just like he seems to like me to be involved, instead of just finding a couple of random guys at a party to have a MFM with. *facepalm* Of course YMMV...but saying 'babe, i'm glad you are enjoying the experiences we've had but it feels like we have focused on your fantasies more than mine for the most part...can we make it more even or redirect focus for a little bit please' can be a good talking point.

She came clean. You can dwell on it and put your life on hold or you can move on and have a good relationship with her, that is your choice. As you stated, she has given you no reason to think she is lying about anything else so I see no reason personally to dwell on this and make more of it then it is. You wake up tomorrow and it is a new day, use it for good and forget what happened yesterday, makes for a much easier life.

Thanks, LM. We do indeed have a wonderful relationship, and we love each other deeply. This problem is a small thing. I don't know about just tolerating it, though. That is what I've been doing for years, but it's really getting in the way since we started swinging. Things bother me that otherwise wouldn't, and I find myself feeling emotionally drawn to men who compliment me, in ways that I'm not sure are appropriate. Please understand, it's not that I would consider leaving or cheating on my husband, but I'd rather not feel emotionally drawn to play partners in this way, and we both feel sure this issue is at the root of it. Since my original post, he has begun trying a new strategy of calling me pet names that signify certain compliments. He's comfortable with pet names, so he's using that as a way to work into giving me compliments. I know what each pet name means, so I'm enjoying his efforts, and it seems to be working for him. Hopefully once this is more of a habit, we can take things up another level. I'm still open to any ideas you guys might have. Crosswords