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Life is not fair, and everything is not equal in love or swinging. In a good lifestyle relationship you get pleasure from your partner's adventures and they get pleasure from yours. You don't have to have equal experiences to share that joy and pleasure. Big Rock, I suggest you read The Swinger's Manual, then since you're interested in poly relationships read The Ethical Slut and Opening Up. Then have a couple awesome sexual adventures with your girlfriend and another couple and maybe one not so great adventure for good measure. Then you can tell us about good lifestyle relationships.