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We have been dabbling in the lifestyle for 3 or 5 years now and so far have only met couples for soft swap and girl play. Mrs Shy has only had sex with Mr Shy and he has only had sex with one other girl in HS. We ran into a guy we used to play with as part of a couple. Havent seen him in close to two years. He is currently single. So we were talking to eachother later and mentioned inviting him as a third. We had always played well together, had good chemistry, and trusted him. After we met them for the last time we actually considered letting them take our full swap"cherry". The female half of the couple was hot and even hotter in bed but I always said she had "crazy eyes" Anyway, they broke up about a year ago. They were never married. She moved cross country with her daughter to be closer to her family. Its over. So, not really looking for comments on if this is a good idea or not. We have made plans to get together in the near future. We have an excellent BS meter and trust our gut. He is a great guy and we have made plans to move forward. Big concerns are for Mrs Shy: a) She has never had sex with anyone else. b) She had a quite conservative upbringing. c) She is super sexy and enjoys sex very much! We know our guy is respectful. He knows her back story. She wants to do the MFM. She just isn't sure if will be able to have sex with him. We will definately give her plenty of attention and get her worked up. She knows she is up for plenty of oral giving and recieving. Lots of touching, kissing, fondling, and wants to try a DP and possibly a DV. She just isnt sure when its there in front of her if she will be able to do it and if she does, how will she feel about it later. We wouldn't try this with just anyone. We jnow this guy and have played before. So the guy and pushy, disrespectful behavior won't be a problem. I also think that she has a special part of her that likes the fact that she has only had sex with one man. She said no, but I think there is a part of her that doesn't want me to see how nasty she really is or can be. I (him) introduced the idea of swinging. The running joke was that I wanted to see her get it from two guys. I think she is hot as fuck. She is the woman I married, best friend, mother of my children, and love of my life (yea, sappy but true). In my case its true, everyman wants a lady in public and a whore in the bedroom. I just want to help her release her inner bad girl. Just don't want to open a can of worms (or Pandoras box) that she will have trouble coping with. Just sort of a side note on our style of play: we have several fantasies (4somes and 3somes). We always approach playtime knowing our own and our partners limits. Never go in with a script or scenario in mind. We have been with another where he was the director and not much fun. We prefer to set our boundaries out there and go with the flow. Let things happen organically and go where the heat of the moment takes us. So same plan for this outing, start playing and let her tell us where she wants to go as the evening progresses.

There's your answer for expanding the conversation. Talk about looking at personal ads from couples that live in other towns within a reasonable distance away.

I hate to break it to you Rock, but disagreeing with people is not what is causing you to ruffle feathers so often. People disagree often on various topics in this forum, without raising the ire of others. I am not trying to be critical here, just giving you a perspective I don't think you see. First, you got off on the wrong foot from day one with some pretty negative views of the LS. People have long memories, so, for a while at least, everything you post is going to be viewed with some skepticism. Second, was your 180 degree turn into the LS. Turning from being so critical to jumping in with both feet so quickly seems like an odd transition. Maybe even a bit hypocritical, particularly since your old bias occasionally shows through in your post. Third, there are times in your post that it appears that you really don't get the LS. For example, your earlier post in this thread about things being equal so everyone gets to have the same amount of pleasure. That just runs against the grain for most of us. We get as much or more pleasure knowing our spouses/SO's are getting great pleasure. And finally, as with your initial post in this thread, your tone and phraseology often carries a passive aggressive vibe. For example "Now Ms. H , is the Mister going to have 4 Ladies at once? Would you be Okay with him having them over a period of a couple of nights?" TO me, and I would suspect some others, that question smacks of an accusatory tone and seems to be attempting to show that the OP is unfair in that she wants gang bangs but is not willing to grant her SO the same degree of play privilege. Nothing of that nature was even even hinted at until your post, so it came out of the blue. There are a great many very intelligent people on this forum that read as much into how things are said, or even what is not said, as they do what you write. That just comes from their experience of years of communication and attention to detail. If you would be willing to listen to some advice, trying reading your own post before you hit send, and look at it from others perspective as well. Don't impose your negative experience/bias/thoughts on other peoples situations. If you do apply your experiences to other peoples post and questions, make sure that it is pertinent to the conversation and done in a way that is helpful, and not coming out of left field like it seemed to in your first post to this thread. This is free advice, so take it for what its worth. But I hope you can see it as someone trying to give you some sound advice rather than attack you, because that is how it is meant.