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Hey Troubled, I bet it must be very frustating. There have been times when I, just like you, couldn't get it up with some very hot playmates. In fact, our very first time (with 2 other couples yet ) ended up with every one having fun, but I couldn't get it up So I can appreciate your frustration. What I've found works for me is being as comfortable and relaxed as I can be. Have you tried a hottub for a warmup? Erections are very easy to come by nude in a hottub when hands are wandering beneath the water Makes for an easy transition to the bedroom ......or even out on the deck Or how about getting frisky with your playmate before you get nekkid. I'll bet if you make out with her first while the clothes are still on......you know getting hot and heavy like you were teenagers....that you'll easily get aroused. Then once you are good and hard, take it to the next level....maybe taking her while you both are still clothed. Just put yourself in some comfortable sexy situations and you'll find yourself easily aroused. And when you do......jump on it Your confidense will be back strong. Brett