Leaderboard

Damn laptop, hit the wrong button. While getting into swinging is never an easy decision for most couples I think you two are going about it just right, taking the time to talk about it and getting your feelings and thoughts out in the open. As others have stated finding a unicorn is not easy to do but the hunt is half the fun, well more than half, and it does happen. Make your rules and then start your search. Join a few different web sites. Look around and see whats available in your area. Go to some meet n greets, talk to the people there, get comfortable. No one is going to pressure you to play, just make sure that the people you talk to know your boundaries. When you do find what you are looking for, make sure that you talk after and see if you are both comfortable with what has happened and then go from there, you may need some rule changes, or you may decide that it isn't for you at all. If either one of you wants to stop then by all means stop. you can always come back later if you decide to. In our experience once you get started you will expand what you are looking for. If it's only fmf now, in the future you may feel comfortable enough to try soft swing with a couple, or even MFMF full swap. The key is to take things slow and see what you are comfortable with. We have seen what we call "Unleash the beast" many times. Thats where the more reluctant side of a couple, once they have been exposed to the fun that can happen becomes the driving force. They are now the one who takes over the looking and planning, they are the ones who push the boundaries. This is usually the female half but in your case it will be the male. To tell you the truth we like to see this. It brings a couple to the same level and is good for both of them. K

"I want my wife to be happy but not at the expense of my happiness" Len & wife, I think that quote tells you all you need to know about your prospects. Everything I've read on this forum indicates there is no flexibility in this and your admission that she can only be happy as long as you are (which is what you've said) indicates that's not going to change. "but that doesn't mean I want her stuffed full by males while doing it" Yet another indication of your insecurities. She isn't talking about being "stuffed full by males". She's talking about SHARING an experience with YOU. You have no problem doing this only as long as it allows you the opportunity with another female and not your wife with another male? To each his own, but I don't get how you can rationalize that a FMF is okay but a MFM isn't; that's pretty hypocritical and, as an experienced swinger myself, is very consistent with comment I've seen or heard by other insecure men. I fear this is one of those situations that won't end well; two polar opposites and no flexibility.....at a point something will have to give...and then who is happy? Who sacrifices their happiness for the other (since it sounds like you two aren't willing or able to find a middle ground that makes both of you happy)? Wish the best for you, sounds like you're going to need it.