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Ok.....Here goes..... I (the Mr.) was involved in the lifestyle for many years with my ex. The current Mrs and I met through an online dating site. Actually she is a former worship leader and Christian Pastor with ordination papers. Her parents are also pastors. She taught Sunday school and lived that life for 40+ years. When we met there was NEVER a desire by me to continue with the lifestyle, but she wanted to see what it was about. Now I will tell you that we are a soft couple by choice and while I don't think that is important to this discussion, she does mention all the time where the bible states there are passages where talks of numerous wives and concubines are mentioned. She also mentions passages where the gist of it is that nothing is "out of bounds" in the marriage bed. Mrs. does still practice the faith and I am not of the faith, but do support her and slowly believe that she has been correct all along. But then again it's faith correct? Nevertheless, when I hear stories about all of her Christian friends who had affairs, got divorced, had affairs again....well you know. Isn't it better to enjoy each other and NOT have to hide what makes you tick sexually? We BOTH agree on that. Just my point of view

I agree with Lascivious L&L April 2010 post. I too am a married bi male and my wife does know I am bi as she has known that since we first met almost 4yrs ago. We sometimes play with single men, women as well as couples. My wife doesn't mind if I go down on a guy and sometimes she will just watch as I play with one alone. Don't get me wrong I'm far from gay as I love eating pussy way way too much hence the username Pussylicker4u. I find it just fun to endulge in both men and women as it can be an extremely hot time especially if the other couple has a bi male as well. We don't require the other person or couple to be bi as we do respect that not everyone is into but like other posts say things do happen in the heat of the moment so what the heck might as well have fun. My other view point on bi sexuality is that you only live once so you might as well have fun living life to its fullest so who cares if a person is bi or not. I think that there are too many contradictions to bisexuality as it is anyway. Think about it a woman can be bisexual and no one thinks twice but when a guy says he is he is automatically pegged as being a queer. Now I find that a double standard as bisexuality is the same across the board regardless if your male or female. A true bisexual is that way as they have a love for sex and the human body regardless of wheter they are male or female.

I see many of the advice here approaching the situation from a swingers perspective (which I know very well also) rather than that of a polyamorous perspective. So here is my take on it. Jealousy, as you know, is insecurity. It's the fear that someone else may be "better" or valued or desired more than yourself by your loved one: your husband. Sure, there are things that can be done to reduce the jealousy a little bit, but nothing short of fixing yourself will eliminate what you are feeling. And by "fixing" I mean understanding that you are worthy, you are "enough", you are awesome and you do mean the world to your husband. That said, if he is in love with her just ending it like many have suggested won't work - it's neither fair to her, nor to your husband who could end-up resenting you for the implied ultimatum. In my experience vetoes can work in swinging, but they don't work so well in polyamory. With the emotions in the game the stakes are much higher when trying to control your partner's actions and who they are in a relationship with besides yourself. On top of that, his girlfriend is not just a shoe that can be thrown away, she also has a vested emotional interest in your husband and you. My advice, and it's not easy, is to look deep within yourself and figure-out what it is that is triggering such strong emotions of jealousy. Then, when you think you can articulate it well, sit down with your husband and the other woman and talk it out. Let both of them know how you feel and why you are feeling it. They can't fix your feelings of jealousy, but they can empathize and maybe help you work through them. I think you'll get further working on it as a triad than just as a couple.