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A few observations. The happiest folks we have met 1. have been together for decades with an unambiguously secure relationship; 2. see their partner as the most important person in their world; 3. communicate openly, verbally and nonverbally; 4. share pleasure on multiple levels. Swinging is a part of their joy, never the basis for it.

No easy answers here. You know him far, far better than any of us ever will. No, being a bit bored in the bedroom and curious isn't a wrong reason to want to swing per se. If there's problems in the marriage, for example in the bedroom, then swinging won't fix them; it'll just make it worse. The #1 best thing you can do is love him as deeply as you do. Also, don't play games with him. That said, you can skirt around the subject over time, planting seeds as it were, and maybe eventually he'll start to wonder what it would be like. Another thing you can try is having a very open, very honest, discussion between each other. But, make it crystal clear that it is a discussion ONLY and there is nothing in any of this that means you love him any less. My wife was absolutely 100 percent against the idea of swinging. There was no chance it was ever going to happen. I'd dabbled in the lifestyle before meeting her, just with one couple, and she was not happy about it. She wasn't judgmental per se, just that she knew there's no way she was ever going to do that. Fast forward a few years, and we're considering getting a Sybian. A local swing club has one, as I found out, and I suggested the idea of going there to try it out. Bzzt; wrong answer. Not going to happen, no way, no how. That was ~4 years ago or so. Now, through all of this I never engaged in any conscious effort to get her thinking about swinging, or to even consider it in any respect. I was absolutely content that we'd never swing. No worries, on with life with my wonderful wife. And then... About 2 1/2 years ago, she brought up a scenario of very, very light swinging; just having a few men give her sensuous massage, with her naked. Fast forward to now, and she's had sex with many men in the lifestyle, some of them multiple times, and thoroughly enjoys the lifestyle. She's very glad she's a swinger, and looks forward to swing encounters. You just never know. Time, patience, love, honesty, communication, togetherness. Even if that doesn't pan out in the two of you swinging, it's still 100 percent worthwhile.

I had a guy once who made a comment that I may not be clean enough for his liking as we were in the tube... and there he was wondering why he never got another chance to fondle my ass Also: I'm rather worried that there are people who are doing anal bleach or vulva surgery just so guys have not to get used that they may encounter something different in real life then they do in porn... no wonder many younger guys still think that a a woman's greatest pleasure is to do nothing else then suck cock for an hour and in the spunk lands in her face/mouth she will have an orgasm.....