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I'm sure that this is enough for him, I know it would be enough for me!! Understanding this and being able to "deal" with it emotionally are two different things, As a male it's no big deal to me that you aren't ready to. Your hubby sounds like he is willing to do what you want, either wait until you are ready or never take that step. It's quite a bit different to be the receiver of an extra playmate and the one who is sharing their spouse with someone else. Taking that step and actually seeing your spouse with someone else is a shock to the system for most new swingers and not a step to be taken lightly. Believe me this not something to worry yourself about, you will always be the best that he has ever had or ever will have, no one else knows all his buttons and there is also that hold you have on his heart that makes sex with you more special. There is nothing wrong with continuing this if it makes you happy, there are many couples that never go further than this. From this statement I'm going to assume that you are not bi or bi-curious and that you need to work on your own self image. All women are sexy, hot, alluring in their own way. The only women that I'm not attracted to are those who are shallow, or not bright enough to hold a conversation. I'm sure that he still has that "smile" every time he thinks about you which is most likely several hundred times a day. As you stated at the beginning of your post, you are special, not all or even most women are willing/adventurous enough to push their sexual comfort level to try new things and admit that they enjoy what most would consider abnormal behavior in the bedroom. If you take some time read the threads here you will see that there are couples who have spent many more years than you getting to this point. Enjoy what you have and if you are ever ready to take the next step you will know that you are doing it for the right reasons and not just to make your hubby happy, and if you are never ready you have had a great time with your hubby and I'm sure that those great times will continue. Kent

Susan here-- Dear Mere Mortal. You have found you have limits where you did not expect to find them. The only choices you have are to accept them or fight past them. Both are allowed and both have their joys and troubles. The bottom line is this: There's a million things you can do and a million things you can't. I strongly encourage you to embrace the truths of your sexual limits knowing that in the future the road you want to travel may not appear so forbidden or quick to anger you. Take care and be well.

We have been in the LS for about a year and a half. Play almost completely together, although she has played solo when I was down due to surgery, and I have a hell pass but have never used it. My wife enjoys chat and texting. She has some pretty steamy chats with playmates. At first she told me about every single chat, and I read most of them. As time went on, I read them less as she told me about them, so she told me about them less. But I knew she still was chatting. However, she does not delete them and I am free to check them out anytime. In fact she sometimes wants me to check out some steamy ones just for the fun of it. Sometimes she will tosses me her phone and tell me so-and-so want to get together, so I will read the text to get the details, which also includes some sexy chat at times. I might read some of the others that are unrelated, it turns me on a bit. I don't feel the need to check them out for the purpose of keeping tabs on her. I trust her completely, if I didn't we wouldn't be in the LS. Nothing she has ever written gives me even the slightest concern, it is sexual, and that is what we are in this for to begin with. Besides, I am pretty sure that if I needed to be concerned about something I would know from a number of other ways long before I saw it in a chat. I suppose one could seize upon "I haven't felt that way in I don't know how long... " but in fact I understand that and have felt it too. Every time we start up with a new couple it has a "new and exciting feeling" that is different. I feel the same, but after time that goes away. It's more indicative of dating than anything more serious. Are there things she could write that would concern me? Certainly, but like I said, I would probably would have already realized there was a problem between US long before I ever saw a text about it. What would concern me in your situation is what ClosetSwinger pointed out. I would not be happy at all, and would be concerned, if she were deleting text or chats or hiding them from me. That would certainly throw up red flags. But for us, as long as we are both open and honest, and the chats/text do not stray off into emotional spaces I am perfectly fine with her sexy chats. I hope she enjoys them. After all, she is having sex with the guy, so why should sexy chat bother me?