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The problem I see is not about your husband having lack of interest in you, or any possibility of him encountering another womans influence that you cannot reproduce. You have clearly stated that he is willing to go at 'the slowest persons pace,' namely, you. The problem is you have an esteem problem. You fear inadequacy if someone 'better' comes along and introduces him to a 'better' time. You need to discuss this with him, and go about getting over this envy in baby steps. It sounds like you can have a great deal of fun in the lifestyle, but need to let go a bit in very small increments. When you go to the clubs again (and after thorough discussion with your husband) and see friends, tell them that you two are experimenting a little if they are willing to help out, and do a little 'making out with them,' and see how you feel. The fear might be much worse than the actual event, and then re-evaluate to either take it further, or decide it's just not right for you. Good luck.

Both of us work in the medical field and due to how we've seen records being handled (I personally have seen some records for thousands of patients and I dont work in the records dept nor am I a provider), we really dont feel inclined to mention to our doctors that we swing. The thing is, we believe the doctors themselves will keep the secret, both due to how they are personally and their code of ethics. But, anything listed in the records (if something does get listed) is open game for dozens of people, many of which are not medical in nature. Insurance companies routinely request records from all past providers, and lawyers, claims handlers, and other providers all handle and can see these records at various times. Keep in mind that anytime you file a claim (be it an auto accident, work injury, whatever) you sign an auth to release information. And then someone sends that auth out to all of your providers to get your records. And records handlers at those providers will all do their job (and look at the records if they feel like it, very few do, but it's possible), and then if their is an attorney involved, they also will see these records, and then the insurance company workers will also see them (claims reps and various office staffing). Then other review workers at insurance companies can see them too, ones that review claims for proper coding, past injury claims, history, coverage issues... Now I know this sounds alarmist, but keep in mind a very high percentage of these people have no desire to view your records. To them you are just another number, another part of their job, old hat. Those aren't really the ones I worry about. The ones I dislike are the insurance companies. They aren't on your side, they are in business to make money. And they run an insane amount of matrixes, analyses, and projections to figure out how to make more money. They take washed (names removed but data intact) versions of records and tabulate them with millions of others to build tables with to use for their calculations. And they run estimates to see if they could nix this little bit or that little bit of coverage and make more money, and if so, they run all of their files through that filter and sort out the ones to deny. Now, I do not know if swinging has been categorized as "risky behavior" of some sort and is being put into a denial category, but I do not want to find out either. It would most likely have to be listed in the billion pages of fine print they offer with your coverage terms, but who really reads that whole thing to begin with, or the many revisions they send you over time. Not to mention I dont want some overly zealous and jaded special investigative claims rep pouring over my medical records and seeing "sleeps with multiple partners" or something of that sort listed. Sucks, but that's how it is. Funny thing is, I'm a proponent of digital records. I believe they are a big help, especially in the cases of emergency medicine and other unplanned hospital stays (which is an area where I really see modern western medicine shining). But, as we are finding out, help in one area can be a hindrance in another.