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I have been brewing over Snapps response for the past week. Not only am I insulted, I am extremely frustrated. So I will try to be as civilized with my response as possible. I should point out from the get go that I am a psychologist and my wife is a social worker. So lets begin…. You said: I actually met him in January. As far as watching, no she is not, and I am not pushing this. We are taking a journey and we must take baby steps. At some point she MIGHT be comfortable with it, but there is also the approval of the other party. I am totally turned on by watching her, but to be honest I am not really interested in seeing her fuck buddy naked or his dick. Not my thing (no offense to anyone who is into that). You said: Really? What century do you live in? I think slavery was outlawed on December 6, 1865 and women also got the right to vote on August 18, 1920. My wife is neither my possession nor his nor anyone else’s; she is her own individual who has the right to make her own decision on who she wants to fuck, including me. Did you know that a husband can be charged and convicted of raping his own wife? You said: Sometimes she goes over at my request, because I am totally turned on by that. Who are you to question what turns me on or what I find sexually arousing? She also did try to video record it, but the quality sucked, so I just got audio. There may be a time that I can watch with someone else, but at this point we are just taking baby steps. We have discussed going to a swinging club and are VERY turned on by it, but we BOTH need to take this at our own pace. You said: Low self esteem? Are you nuts? Do you know me? No I don’t think so. I mentioned that I have lost some weight. Well in my profession I sit on my ass, and I gained some weight, but that DOES NOT MEAN that I have low self-esteem. It just means I gained some weight. My self-esteem is just fine, as is my sex life with my wife. Before we started this lifestyle we had sex maybe two to four times a month, now it is 2 to 3 times a week. We have a very healthy sexual life and because of this lifestyle, our relationship has gone to a different level, in a positive way. You're quick to point out what is potentially wrong with my arrangement, but maybe you need to look at yourself. Your wife left you, and I am truly sorry for that, but what happened to you does not happen to everyone. My wife is NOT your wife and our marriage is not like yours. We are HAPPY with the arrangement and I love my wife and she loves me and I NEVER question that and that is all that matters to me. I really think you need to speak to someone; you are obviously suffering from some issues based upon what happened to you. I have a question for you. If your wife left you, why do you continue to troll these boards? Please see a therapist you really need to…I am not saying this out of anger, but from genuine concern.