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I read this thread back a couple weeks ago and it has actually been on on my mind ever since. I can completely relate with what DigginIt calls "bridging between couples" and the deep friendships that can form between couples that swing together. And whenever you have a deep friendship, whether it is in a swinging context or vanilla context, emotions and caring come into play. If you didn't care about them how could you claim to have a friendship with them? There is a big difference between romantic love and the "love" or caring that most people have for their closest friends. But still, regardless of the nature of the relationship, if the friendship was real it is going to sting when it breaks up. We are in the thick of a relationship like this right now with another couple and it can be really intense at times. We talk to them nearly every day, we see each other socially, we get together and spend time with each others children/vanilla friends, and every 3 or 4 weeks we manage a "play" night for just the 4 of us. This has been going on for about 6 months now. We each have very strong marriages, but the sexual chemistry when we swap is intense and the friendships outside of the swinging are real. My husband and I have talked about it extensively. We don't know how others would label it, but we've just come to understand it as swinging using the FWB model. We know it isn't the way most swingers do things, but it works for us. Still, I find myself worrying sometimes about how it will end. The only reason this works for us is because all 4 of us want it and it works for all of us. But all it will take will be 1 of the 4 of us to lose interest and then what? It seems inevitable that some of us will get hurt. But I guess that's a risk we've agreed to accept. Anyway, in response to the OP, I think you just have to decide what is right for you and your wife. There is no right or wrong way to swing. You just have to do what is right for you and if that means you don't want to form friendships or emotional ties then just don't do it.