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Cheating is not subjective. Every time I have heard that statement it came from a cheater. Go ahead, have sex with the couple without your wife's knowledge or permission. Then tell her it was only sex, not cheating, because it was not emotional or romantic. Let us know what she and her lawyer say. While you may not agree with this communities morality, ethics, or differentiating between swinging and cheating, you did come here and ask advice. Take it or leave it. We share everything with our spouses, yet you call us hypocritical for not telling the general public what we do, while you contemplate having sex with another couple behind your wife's back. Now that is irony. Focus. Okay here is some focus for you. Grow a pair and ask the other couple if they are swingers and if they are interested in playing. If they are, ask your wife if you can have sex with them. Then you will know and can decide for yourself if you should have sex with them. That way you don't have to suffer the derision of a bunch of hypocrites. Focused enough?

I don't know about Baptists, but I do know this weekend when my wife and I are having hot sex with another couple we won't have to worry about what would happen if the other one found out. We won't have to think about how our marriage might be destroyed because one of us fucked someone without the other person's knowledge or consent. And yes, I do expect there will be a couple of "Oh Gods!" during that time as well. So maybe this atheist has a little Baptist in him after all. It's only fair I suppose, since chances are I've put a some atheist into one or two Baptists over the last few years.

You asked, members have answered. You just don't like the answer.

Cheating is subjective but that aside I wasn't asking for a moral judgment on my relationship with my wife here so much as asking about my relationship with this other couple, signs that they may be giving off about wanting to play, etc. This thread has turned into a potential cheaters bash-fest! If I just wanted to cheat, I could have done so many times since we've been together. That's not what this is!! I just wanna play with this couple from time to time, if they're game that is. It's just sex - nothing more. I'm not looking to cheat on an emotional, romantic level. Also, I find it a bit ironic that a group of people most of whom lie about their true selves to satisfy their sexual needs and to maintain protection from potentially judgmental communities would judge me for merely contemplating having a threesome to satisfy my sexual needs without informing my immediate community (i.e. my wife) - that's just hypocritical imho Focus, people

1. People who don't respect the discretion rule even though it was agreed upon. 2. Safe sex (my opinion of it) not being accepted well in the community.