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So much more eloquent than my post...great input and great examples. An afterthought, Couple222, and I'm sorry if this may already be posted elsewhere, but what were you two looking to get out of swinging? With Mrs. Diggs and I, it was to rekindle those feelings of lust that just subside over time. I ask because maybe taking a look at your reasoning may help both of you make better decisions moving forward. It was your choice of words that set the tone of the post, little things like "he practically mauled her the whole time" that gave me the pending train wreck feeling. It presented a resentful feeling towards him coupled with some possible insecurity and then it closes with what I take away as self imposed passive aggressive punishment to distance yourself from your husband emotionally. I will go out on a limb here and say that after 12 years together (15 now but 12 years was when we entered the LS) we took way too much about each other for granted. It wasn't until we started swinging that we remembered why we fell in love in the first place and we stopped taking each other for granted. Our sex life, which was already great, got even better. You said your husband hasn't paid attention to your breasts in years. I really view that as a renewed appreciation for you, the woman he loves. This is a defining moment in your lives. You are sitting here, harboring these feelings and sharing them with us and not with the one person who should mean more to you than anyone else in the world. This is where we say that, you have to have good communication. This is where swingers fail most often. They think they talk but they aren't truly honest with their feelings, with their spouses and with themselves.

This guy just won the Selfish Sweepstakes. Show him the door. (Yes, he is the biggest asshole you could have run into.) Swingers differ on bareback vs condom, but one thing almost everyone agrees on is that there can be no compromise on respect for your swing partner and her wishes. His attempt to verbally coerce you into something you're not comfortable with is a total deal breaker.

Thank you for your responses They have helped me seeing the situation much more clearly Yeah... seems that I must definitely say good bye to this guy... Too bad.. I really liked him.. but yeah, I am totally disappointed and discouraged about him with his attitude. He is showing that he only cares about having things done his way and not a bit about me... (or.. anyone actually). That sucks.

I said it before and I'll say it again. No, you're not overreacting. No, you shouldn't be OK with continuing to go bareback with him. No, you shouldn't go bareback with him... and given his attitude, I say you shouldn't *anything* with him. You deserve better than this guy.

Your not over reacting at all! If you do not feel safe, Don't do it. If this guy can not accept this, tell him good bye! Whom is to say the other girls he goes without, my have something you don't want to get. Him? Like taking a firearm from someone. Do you trust them saying it is unloaded or do you check it yourself. My SO and I have a rule. If we say no, IT MEANS NO! If the other can't accept that, Too Bad and move on.