I don't think I devalue sex in any way. I do, however, in my swinging relationships consider it just sex. I like all my partners, but I don't want to have an emotional bond with them. I already have that emotional bond with my husband. Why would I want to consider swinging to be anything more? My recovering Catholic brain has no problem with this. It's just two minds (yours and mine) who think differently. Or... maybe I'm not really understanding what you're meaning.
It's pretty obvious our views of sex differ. We have wonderful connections with our play partners, but still to us, it's just sex. Actually, I think our ways of thinking are polar opposites of what we both want out of swinging. It doesn't make anyone wrong... we're just different.
Yes, ours is more like a handshake. Almost when it's over, we have to ask what their first names were again.... I joke of course, but we don't have to know anyone really well, or very, very well, as it seems you do. I could be wrong of course. We have swinger friends who we enjoy vanilla activities together, but we don't have to have this. In fact, the more I know a person, the more unattractive they might become. But again, like you said, there are many different perspectives out there.