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Yep, please do register. You've gotten excellent advice above. There's no deadline, no rush, no anything. Keep talking. It's how many couples start out swinging. Your concerns are perfectly valid, and quite understandable. They are also quite normal! It is very possible that if you play with another female in what's known as an "FMF" that your husband will be wanting to have sex more with her than you during the encounter. This is perfectly normal. This other woman is new, and your husband can have sex with you after she leaves. It is not at all uncommon in FMFs and MFMs that the person in the middle of that has sex a LOT more with the "new" person than with their spouse. My wife and I have enjoyed many MFMs, and on average I'd say her ratio of sex with the other guy vs. with me is about 4:1 in such encounters. I like that; she's getting to play with another guy, and she can have more or me later. I remember a survey here some years back that showed that at least among the men on this board, that the fantasy of an FMF was HALF as popular as the fantasy of being in an MFM with their wife. Surprising perhaps, but MFMs are a hell of a lot of fun! So, while the common idea is that FMFs are every guy's fantasy, the reality at least among swingers is different. What if your husband likes the other woman more than you? Remember he's married to you, not her. Swinging isn't a test of a marriage (if you're using it as a test, you already failed!). But, if all the depth of your marriage, put up against a consensual encounter with another woman gives either of you the willies that he might feel his feelings for this other woman are more important, well...you shouldn't be swinging. We've seen the question asked by many about what if the other person is better? It's a question my wife and I considered as well before getting into swinging. My answer, and my wife's as well, is simple: If what the other person is doing feels great, and better than what our spouse has done, fill each other in on what s/he did so your spouse can learn to do it too! I remember a post by a fellow here on this board where he had recently been in an MFM with his wife. The other guy was taller, richer, in better shape, arguably better looking, had a bigger and longer penis. His wife had a fantastic time, thoroughly enjoying the other guy. The husband was very happy for her, and was proud as heck that she was his wife, and she was coming home with him and he with her. They are a team. And that's one of the keys; be a team. If you're having sex with another guy, your husband is enjoying it too. Another poster here (paraphrasing) said to his wife that when she's having sex with another man, she's being made love to by him (her husband). Allowing your spouse the freedom to have sex with someone is an incredible thing. All of our experiences in the lifestyle have been a together thing; even when my wife has played solo on the odd occasion. Communication in any relationship is very important. If a couple is thinking about swinging, communication is ultra, ultra important. Make sure that both of you can talk to the other about anything, anything at all without any fear of negative judgment or negative repercussions. Letting go of your deepest inner fantasies and sharing them with your spouse is a wonderful thing. It can be very hard for couples to do this sometimes because of fear over rejection of those fantasies, feeling too open, etc. Some couples take years from their first conversation about swinging before actually doing anything. That's ok. Some couples take a couple of days and jump right in, full bore. That's ok too. A sage piece of advice in that is this: Move ahead at the pace that is as slow as what the 'slowest' spouse wants to move. Move faster than one of the two of you want to move, and it will not work well. Don't EVER get yourself in a situation where you are doing something swinging wise for your spouse. Don't ever have sex with another man because your husband wants to see you do that. If ever you get to that point, it should be because YOU want to have sex with this other man, and with that in place also wanting to do it to please your husband is icing on the cake. Again, please do register. There's plenty of people here who will be very happy to answer every question you have. Feel free to ask lots of questions! Few, if any people are raised being taught about swinging, how to succeed in the lifestyle, understanding the impacts of sharing your spouse, etc. That's where resources like this board come into play. We can help answer questions you have and give you a foundation on which to build.