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Great question! For me regarding the lifestyle, I'll try anything I'm interested in so long as Michael is OK with it. if it doesn't live up to my expectations I'll let it go and move on. So in general I guess I'd rather regret something I did a little than have remorse for not doing it at all. Alicia

When my husband and I started into the lifestyle, I wasn't at all comfortable seeing him with other women. He would say that he didn't have to play with another couple because he was more turned on by watching me anyway. However, I felt even more funny about posting ads looking only for single men at the time and so we still pursued couples. Michael committed to taking things slow and what happened was that we found a couple who we became really good friends with before having any sex at all. Then one night when we were all together it just happened and I facilitated the whole thing! I liked the woman so much that those feelings just never came up. She was such a sweetheart I never felt threatened and was able to enjoy the moment. Sure, I felt a little dip in the stomach but I had no problem at all with it. It was like I wanted it to happen all of a sudden. Since then we've met a few more great couples and have had some great experiences. The process has always been the same, take it slow, become really good friends and then if it happens it happens. To me it feels very natural at that point. Unfortunately, our friends have moved away and we're currently in limbo as far as couples go. However, we have changed our ad accordingly to find some great gentlemen and have been having a blast. So to you I would say there's no one size fits all formula. Talk about it, be honest with each other and create an environment where you can explore but where there's always a turn-back option. Allow things to happen naturally and you'll be surprised at how well things can turn out. Alicia.

Honey, I'm in my early 30's. I had an emergency surgery when I was 20, died on the OR table, etc.... I am left with scars on my abdomen, and stretch marks with no children to show for it. I was/am not real confident when it comes to swinging. I had to finally decide that real friends will like me for ME, not what I look like under my clothes. Anyone who has a problem with how I look cab go F themselves. Trust me, I know this is easier said than done. You can find me on Twitter or the Y! Under the same screen name if you need someone to talk to. Big hugs sent your way. XOXO

I do too. He's not wrong. I fucked up. I've posted here time and again about the importance of communication and the evils of "taking one for the team." I failed to heed my own advice. Worse, I had several opportunties to back out... a chances, even in the middle of the action, when I could have removed myself from an uncomfortable situtation, with a measure of grace and courtesy even. I didn't take them. I let myself get caught in a trap of expectations and assumptions and I'm suffering for it. As I happens, I have no choice but to take a break for a few weeks as life circumstances prevent our return to the cub scene for a little while. Clearly, I need to take that time to, as folks here have suggested, find the lessons in the this, talk with my wife and work out some "exit strategies" and, as angelkin suggests, make love to my wife. I need to reconnect with the reasons I'm in this hobby, as VegasLess calls it, to begin with... and those all come back to the beautiful woman I'm blessed to have in my life. Thanks all, for your comments.