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When my husband and I started into the lifestyle, I wasn't at all comfortable seeing him with other women. He would say that he didn't have to play with another couple because he was more turned on by watching me anyway. However, I felt even more funny about posting ads looking only for single men at the time and so we still pursued couples. Michael committed to taking things slow and what happened was that we found a couple who we became really good friends with before having any sex at all. Then one night when we were all together it just happened and I facilitated the whole thing! I liked the woman so much that those feelings just never came up. She was such a sweetheart I never felt threatened and was able to enjoy the moment. Sure, I felt a little dip in the stomach but I had no problem at all with it. It was like I wanted it to happen all of a sudden. Since then we've met a few more great couples and have had some great experiences. The process has always been the same, take it slow, become really good friends and then if it happens it happens. To me it feels very natural at that point. Unfortunately, our friends have moved away and we're currently in limbo as far as couples go. However, we have changed our ad accordingly to find some great gentlemen and have been having a blast. So to you I would say there's no one size fits all formula. Talk about it, be honest with each other and create an environment where you can explore but where there's always a turn-back option. Allow things to happen naturally and you'll be surprised at how well things can turn out. Alicia.