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You may well think it's nonsense, because it doesn't fit into your very small tent. However, to argue that your tent is the only one that fits isn't particularly logical. For instance, even with your theoretical narrowly defined swinger couple, you are still going to have to dig a little further to find out if they're soft or full swap. Or married rather than partnered. Or even that what they want to do on that night fits your definition of swinging, because that can change from one night to the next. "Swinger" is a pretty big tent, but it's smaller than the "ethically non-monogamous" one or the "I/we have sex with others with or without our partner's permission." And all of them are a helluva a lot bigger than yours. Thank God.

My thoughts tend to be along these lines too. When you get down to trying to split hairs on what is and what isn't, then the whole thing starts to fall apart. To me, Julie's answer about the honesty and openness is what creates the line seems to be the best explanation of what is and what isn't, but that's just me. Honestly, I don't really care one way or another though. Whether it is or isn't doesn't have anything to do with how I see myself as a swinger, so I just don't see the point in trying to convince someone that my definition is the only correct one out there.

I find it unnecessary. if that is how someone feels, they can simply turn down people they don't want to play with (without giving a reason). I would not say i find it offensive, but it does tend to make me cock an eyebrow at the person/couple. We all have preferences, but, sometimes expressing them is unnecessary. To be honest, my experience has been that when someone posts that, they do not just have a simple 'eh, they dont do it for me' preference, but genuine racism going on, to at least some degree.

As strange as it may sound to some, I think most successful swinging couples would say that swinging adds something special to their relationship. There is no right or wrong way to swing, it's what works best for you two as a couple. If this gentleman is who you think would make a great playmate, then don't worry about what others think, the only thing that matters is what you two think.