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My late wife and I discussed swinging on our second date which was the second day we'd known each other. We immediately learned that neither of us looked forward to a life of sex with only one person and were open to the idea. For sure, we discussed many other things, but the normally taboo subject of swinging was easily explored by both of us and told us that we could talk honestly about anything with no fear of reprisal. It was during that second date that we agreed to never become angry because a question was asked and that we would always talk about any subject until we understood each other, no matter how long it took. The early stages of a relationship should be spent in getting to know each other; the concept of "running in the other direction" because she must be a slut because she has two kids by two different fathers, is contradictory to the very purpose of leaning about a person, whether or not it might eventually develop into a serious relationship like marriage. In my opinion, swinging IS something a couple does for fun; there is no other reason to do it. If it's a complex mixed bag of emotional surprises, it's because the couple has not prepared their relationship through communication. True, there are always unanticipated issues that must be dealt with but a couple with developed communication can handle them with a minimum of, if any at all, emotional distress. I'd hate to have decided to run the other direction from Mrs. Alura because she'd had over twenty sex partners by the time she was twenty-five. I'd have missed the best thirty years of my life and two of the finest sons one can imagine! Alura

Firstly, I am appalled by my fellow forum-mates. The fact that a woman has two children by different fathers and expresses an interest in swinging does not necessarily mean that she is some kind of gold digging, trailer trash slut. Now, to the original poster, I think you need to communicate with her and find out where she is coming from. First, however, I think you also need to figure out where you are coming from. You say you assume she just wants some dick... but the key word there is assume. Why are you making that assumption. You says you've talked to her but clearly you don't believe her answers. Is there a reason you assume she is lying? You say you're going to marry her, but your post implies that you don't trust her. You need to work out those issues before you can even think about swinging. Hell, IMO, you need to work out those issues before you think about marriage.

Well, this was definitely more embarrassing for the guy than for us... One of the things that was on our "list" for quite awhile was finding a younger guy (19-23 or so) for her to play with. Eventually a situation more or less fell into our laps when we weren't even actively looking (isn't that the way it often happens?!). In any case, this guy was 21 (22 now since this was last year) and had the serious "hots" for my wife. We invited him over for dinner a couple times just to get to know him and make sure things seemed cool. At this point we hadn't mentioned anything to him about actually getting to be with her sexually. Once we were convinced that things would probably go okay we invited him over for dinner again and figured that'd be the night we let the proverbial cat out of the bag. Just to liven the mood I suggested that my wife wear something a little more revealing than she had previous times. It wasn't anything outrageous, but she had on a short denim mini-skirt and a top that definitely showed him more than he'd seen before. After dinner my wife and I cleaned up and I made drinks for all of us. I asked her if she still wanted to go through with it and she said she did and was feeling pretty horny. We hadn't really discussed "strategy" beforehand and were talking about how I should go about letting him in on everything. After a little back and forth she decided that she'd probably be most comfortable with just starting something. She said that she thought he'd probably be more comfortable that way, too, since he wouldn't be sitting there thinking about it and feeling weird. And keep in mind that, again, this guy was really into my wife. I returned to the other room with our drinks and he and I began talking. Shortly into the conversation I told him that my wife had a special dessert planned for him. Corny, I know, but it was the first thing that came to mind. His back was facing the entrance to the kitchen so he didn't see her immediately when she came back in. I, however, did. And much to my surprise she was topless. Now, if you think I was a bit surprised, you can imagine his surprise when my wife kneeled down beside his chair. This was all at the dining room table just so you have the visual. His eyes nearly came out of his skull! She started rubbing his crotch and he was at a complete loss for words other than a few "ums" and "whoahs." Now here's the embarrassing part (for him, anyway). She instructed him to stand up, which he didn't waste much time doing. Once he stood she pulled his jeans and boxers down and he stepped out of them. He was already completely rock hard and she started stroking him. He couldn't take his eyes off of her and what she was doing. Having gotten much more comfortable and verbal over the last few years we've been in the lifestyle, she started talking to him a little bit - telling him she loved how hard he was and that he had a nice cock and all of that. The kid was literally shaking while she was stroking him. She asked him if he ever thought about doing something like this with her and he managed "uh huh." She sat there a few more seconds just stroking him and looking up at him. Then she said "would you like me to suck on it?" He said something like "oh God yes!" She started licking it a little bit first, and then started "snapping" her lips over his head with her lips tightened. She does this to me and it drives me crazy. She did that maybe three or four times and then took him down. As soon as she did he started yelling "oh God, oh God, I'm gonna cum!" And boy did he! Everywhere! She was completely covered. I haven't seen a guy cum that hard or that much in a long time. It was actually pretty amazing! Now, you can imagine this poor kid's embarrassment. She barely even started the blowjob and he had shot his load. He kept apologizing and saying how bad he felt. I lightened the mood by telling him it was no big deal and that my wife was just that good. He was definitely shaken though. So while my wife went to clean up we sat and talked a little and finished the drinks we had. I went to make another round and my wife appeared in the kitchen. She was saying she felt really bad for him and that she hoped we hadn't ruined the kid. I told her I was sure he could get it back up with no problem and that she should give him another shot. So we went back out (my wife still topless) and moved to the living room where my wife sat on the couch next to him. She had her hand on his leg (his boxers and jeans were back on by this point) and finally just came out and told him that it was okay to touch her if he wanted to because I think he felt a little uncomfortable just "going for it." Once they kissed and he played with her tits a little he calmed down quite a bit, though you could tell in his mind he was saying to himself "I can't believe this is happening!" I suggested to my wife that she complete her undressing. I thought he was going to have a heart attack when she took her panties off and he saw her pussy lol. I'm not bragging, but my wife is gorgeous and has a heavenly body. In any case, he went down on her and then she returned the favor. After all of the excitement he didn't last too long once he got inside of her, but it was still very hot and very enjoyable for everyone. She called him the next day to make sure that he was okay with everything and that he wasn't uncomfortable. By that point he was fine and even asked about doing it again lol. She was very into it and told him that she'd love to. So, a couple weekends later they were back at it. He goes away for school, but he's home in the summer and on breaks. We've made it a point to get together with him any time he's home. Since a year has passed things are very normal now. She's even gotten him off over the phone a few times when he's away. But wow, that first time he probably just wanted to crawl into a hole. Anyway, I guess that would qualify as our most "embarrassing" story. That is, other than the time a good friend of ours was screwing her so hard that a picture fell off of the wall and nearly took her head off. But we knew him so well that wasn't really embarrassing. And, come to think of it, maybe that's just not embarrassing anyway. :-P

Erm, call me humorless, but I don't actually think taking a wild leap and assuming - based on very little evidence - that having two fathers for her children and bringing up swinging in month 2 of a relationship means that the posts Lionheart72 cited are in any way justified. That her boyfriend thinks she's secretly a dirty little slut because of the children and a tattoo (definitely means she's trashy, yo) and would enjoy gangbangs, even though she's never indicated anything of the sort, has everything to do with him and nothing at all to do with her. It's not like he's a reliable narrator, after all, as he's already taken her desire to go to a swing club and see what it's all about as an indication that she wants dick. 'Cause, you know, that's the only reason a woman with two children with two fathers, a tramp stamp and a big ass would want to go there. Now I'm really cranky. Jeez. I know I would have liked Mrs. Alura and I think we would have had lots to talk about, too. Mr. Doe and I hadn't even had a date before I told him I'd never be interested in a monogamous relationship.

If you have a reason not to trust someone, then obviously you should reconsider having any kind of sex with him or her. But I would say that if you can verify that the person has no STDs, contraception is accounted for, and will practice safer sex with you, then the person's sexual history isn't that important. I think it's wrong to judge people based on things they can't undo and aren't reflection of who that person has become. Besides, there are so many non-sexual reasons to stay away from some people that I find that it rarely becomes a factor.

It sounds like you need to do a lot of talking about feelings, fantasies, your pasts and future hopes. I have no idea the circumstances of your fiance's past with regard to two children with two different men, but I don't think it's fair to keep bringing this up. I saw another post you made in the gang bang thread, " Default Re: Gangbang Groups id like to know how to get my girlfriend into this. i think deep down she is a nasty slut with having two kids from two different dads ... she is a sex white woman 5'5, 140lbs, 38C, big booty with a tramp stamp, " also mentioning her past, it really isn't that relevant, unless she does not understand the need for good birth control. Do you slut-shame her in the same way you do here? It's not a loving behavior. Some people do make the same mistakes over and over, maybe it's happening to her again right now. Like others have said it is early in your relationship to think about swinging, especially if she and you can't clearly communicate desires. Maybe she'd like to come here and join the discussions?

I would suggest that you talk to her about holding onto that fantasy for a time in the future after you are a bit more established as a couple. It sounds like your communication perhaps still needs some work at this point. You need to feel like you know exactly why she wants to do this before it happens. It may be that her reason is true. From there ask her more questions "why do you want this?" "what do you hope would com of it?" and be specific "do you want us to swing?". Ask her about her fantasies, and definitely ask her about her past experiences.

If I had to guess, her current reaction is a combination of anger at the rules being broken, but equally importantly, a feeling that your sex life has become too lifestyle focused. As others have said, you need some good discussion with her and, where I you, I would own up to two things: first, you broke the rules in the heat of the moment and are profoundly sorry and secondly, you will work on the vibe you are giving off that you are obsessed with the lifestyle and sex. If you can work through that, my guess is a complete break is not necessary. I think that if your sex life had gotten so hot while you were swinging, your wife was probably pretty into it and turns on by it. Her statement that she is only doing it for you may be more a reaction to her fearing you like to too much. If you back off a bit you may both get to a place where it is a sexy complement to your intimacy and sex life, not a surrogate for it.

I hadn't even gotten to your last sentence before I was thinking: This sounds like a good time to take a break. IMO, you did fuck up. Breaking rules in the heat of the moment and after a few drinks is never a good idea. Breaking as big a rule as one related to unprotected ejaculation under those circumstances is a very bad idea, IMO. She has reason to be upset. Not knowing the whole story, I can't tell if you told her to "go for it" and she agreed and now regrets it, or you told him to "go for it" and she went along and feels like she was used. Neither way is good... just different psychology behind her reaction. Take a break. Don't "romance her" ... talk to her. Get to the root of the problem. Is it the "creampie" incident (which, depending on how she feels about it, might well be enough on its own for her to want to stop and never do this again)? Is it more than that? Or less than that? You've been setting a pretty frantic pace and maybe she just needs a couple weeks off. Or maybe she's done (short or long term). Regardless, listen to what she has to say. Respect her views. Say what you have to say. Be prepared for the worst (you'll survive it... that's why we have internet porn) but don't assume it. Communicate, communicate, communicate. Good luck.

There can't ever be guarantees. It violates the principle of "no means no". Translation: "But we drove 250 miles!" is irrelevant to the conversation. If your town is on their travel itinerary, that's their business. If they come through town and invite you to dinner, you can accept...or not. But how far they have traveled should have zero relevance to their expectations and to your decisions.

Oh yeah!! I enjoy it tremendously. Whenever we same roomed shared I don’t devote all my attention on my play pal, which isn’t right. I tend to watch my wife out of the corner of my eye despite how great the sex is with the other woman. My fondest memories are of listening to her in another room and wondering what he’s doing to cause all the moaning. We also experimented taping each other so we can put the images we heard into visual match. Our former regular play pals surprised me on my b-day once by stripping me, tying me to a chair a foot away from the bed and listen to her being fucked. His wife kept whispering things in my ear about what they were doing while sucking my cock right to the edge of exploding. This went on for over and hour until I heard my wife cum loudly which caused my cock to explode on it’s own. His wife gently licked the cum from my body and untied me. My cock didn’t soften any so while they sat on the same bed sipping wine I fucked his wife until we both exploded. We went back and forth all night with the four of us switching partners back and forth.

He may be very surprised at his reaction. I know I sure was, and it gets back to the old "fantasy is different from reality" thing. The first time I saw the missus hooked up with someone I was surprised at my reaction, for sure - it was just "ok." Didn't really turn me on, didn't really bother me - basically a middle of the road 5 on a 10 scale. That huge rush of intense erotic feelings that I just knew I was going to have was nowhere around.