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Showing content with the highest reputation on 08/29/2012 in Posts

  1. 1 point
    I've tried to stay away from answering this question because yes, it does depend on the couple and what they qualify as swinging. However, for me, I wanted to give myself time to answer this without being too bias...because the "hot wife" in me wants to say, yes! It was almost like I wanted to justify that the times that I played separately were "swinging." However, it is an entirely different feeling and dynamic when you play together with your partner versus playing alone with a playmate, whether it is separate rooms or separate houses. I didn't want to admit that playing alone was really an experience that was just between me and the playmate, no matter how much recounting there may be to the spouse after coming home. In the end, it's still an experience that only I can truly look back at. The both of us can't talk about how we felt "when this happened" or "when she/he did this." If swinging is not only the act of sharing/allowing/etc your partner to play with someone else but also experiencing it at the same time with them, then that eliminates several situations of "swinging". Perhaps these other scenarios are a subset of a more open, non-monogamous relationship, just like swinging is, but they are not in the same circle. Mr. Sunbuckus and I have played together and separately. During the times that we played together, I can still remember the times I looked over at him to see if he was enjoying himself (or the times he wasn't). We can talk about the vibe of that playtime, what he thought about during certain moments, and what we might want to do differently or the same. During the times that we played separately, I can't share the moments when a playmate was able to screw me while I was in a V-shape and holding me completely up in the air. I can't ask him how he felt when a playmate was working so hard to pummel me that he used my feet as a place to wipe his sweat. Those are times that only I and the playmate can remember and look back on fondly or not. Does this mean that I won't let Mr. Sunbuckus have a hall pass? Absolutely not. I know that there are opportunities that arise so infrequently that I wouldn't want him to not partake in because it wouldn't be considered "swinging" in the way I have defined it. I still want him to be happy, have fun, enjoy himself, and experience new adventures, with and without me. But I won't be able to share in the same enthusiasm as he when it is all over and done with. All I can do is be generally happy that he had a great time (hopefully). So, that's my take...at this moment.
  2. 1 point
    My gut reaction is no, singles are not swingers. As others have pointed out, they don't have to encounter the same emotional dealings as couples do when swinging. They just have to see who will include them in the couple's playtime. They don't have to worry about getting jealous of a partner, having a jealous partner, etc...but most importantly, they don't have a partner to share the experience with (which makes me a bit sad actually.) Sure, there are singles that are out there to just get laid (and yes, I even heard this coming from a single female). But, as also stated by other posters, it can also be a frame of mind. Being sexually open and honest, an accepting attitude of those similar in mind (as well as different), and a willingness to explore one's sexual desires could be what makes a swinger...however I am not entirely convinced. A person could have all of those qualities but that doesn't mean that their exploration involves the swinger world. Their fantasies could possibly entertaining role playing or dom/sub with their current partner. They could be very open minded about various realms, not just human sexuality--like political, cultural, etc. Perhaps it takes the actual experience of swinging as a couple to become a "swinger" to really understand the complexities of playing with others and the repercussions, positive and negative.
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