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To quote myself, I did elude that this might be a reason why she was doing it (to please you!): In other words, if you are the only one deriving all the pleasure from swinging and you aren't doing some kind of hobby with her that she loves but that you don't really like, then she's going to start thinking that you're selfish and will resent you and your swinging activities. There was something in your posts that bothered me and I think it's that you said: Yet you also said: So, did you really believe her or were you just trying to convince yourself that you did? I have to admit, trust between spouses can be very hard to put together after it's broken. It's like breaking a fine vase...you might be able to get the big piece glued back together and some of the smaller ones, but there will be little, itty bitty shards that you can't find and put back. Sometimes you can refill those missing parts with renewed trust or they can make the vase crumble again. Either you are insecure about yourself/your relationship with her or something happened in the past to make you suspicious. Whatever it is, you both need to figure it out and strengthen your relationship before doing any more swinging activities. And yes, a person does have the ability to not have sex with another person that they are alone in a room in. I've done it several times, completely naked. There were specific rules/requests of me and I honored them. Going any further would be a disrespect to Mr. Sunbuckus, our relationship, our trust, and our love. Another thing is whether you two have talked before about hall passes, had experiences with hall passes, and what both of you thought about it. You know that joke about how women say, "I'm fine," or "It's fine," when in actually, nothing is fine? As two4you stated, words are one thing, actions are another. Mr. Sunbuckus knows when things are not fine with me, even when I say they are. He knows me that well by the inflections in my voice and my body language. As others have pointed out, clearly there are issues within yourself--jealousy, insecurity, control, etc. But for some reason, from your posts, I just get this feeling that one or both of you aren't completely honest with each other. It could be that she's not honest to you about how swinging is making her miserable. Perhaps "she does really enjoy it" but rules and boundaries aren't being clearly communicated. Maybe you don't really enjoy the thought of her having fun with another man, that you don't know and trust, and it took a hall pass to make you realize that. Perhaps she doesn't really like watching you have sex with other women but she says that she does because your happiness means more to her than how it makes her feel. What ever may be the case, it is very clear that you do not trust your wife because you are always asking, doubting, and asking her the same questions as if you don't believe the first answer so you keep badgering until you get a different one that you think makes more sense. Human beings are so funny sometimes. We don't realize how much harder it is on ourselves and others when we aren't completely honest. Sometimes we tell "little white lies" to spare other people's feelings. Sometimes we do it to spare our own. And for others, they just do it because they don't know how to be honest. But it's a lot harder to maintain keeping up a lie than telling the truth. I really do hope that you two can work things out and be truly honest with each other and yourselves. As SW, funcouple, and maui have suggested, a more experienced, knowledgeable counselor/therapist might be of more help for you and your wife. They are very wise and I recommend listening to their advice.

Let me just leave this here. http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1743-6109.2011.02472.x/abstract;jsessionid=28212F140EE2AD0CB24BF2E228625227.d01t03?userIsAuthenticated=false&deniedAccessCustomisedMessage= Now please ladies, stop feeling bad if you can't squirt.