Leaderboard

In my opinion, living 3 different lives might be too complicated. With a mormon background I could see that people were living 2 lives. The every day to day life (family, work, and other) and then the religious side. Cognitive dissonance rules this separation, more simply the reality of life and the perception of religious views. Now a third aspect is going to be added. Lying will have to be incorporated into this new lifestyle. The couple will have be on the same lie at all times. "What did the two of you do saturday night?"; one cannot be saying movies and the other saying dancing. "oh what movie" "oh where do you go to dance?" The Mormon culture is a total rumor mill, because the constant interactions between members. You think fantasy football sucks up time? Interviews between members and leaders can at times be very invasive into private lives; especially with questions like "do you only have sexual relations with your spouse". What if one of the couple buckles under that question? Would the couple be ready to be ostracized by the congregation? Is the husband ready for his wife to be encouraged to divorce him? Furthermore, would the couple be prepared to be ostracized by their families? Swinging requires complete honesty between the couple, self, and the people you swing with. Lying is not a part of this lifestyle. I don't feel that swinging and my day to day life conflict, it is only a side of my life that I don't let everyone know about. It also does not create a cognitive dissonance. It actually helps me find out who I am and gain a little self esteem. "Wow, others do find me attractive" well maybe more of massaging my ego. If our families found out, we could care less of their opinions. If someone starts asking me intimate details of my life, I can tell them aggressively "none of your (insert expletive) business!" I truly do not want this to come out as flaming the OP, but serious questions and serious discussions need to be worked out by any couple who decides to engage in this new life together, regardless of ethos.