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My suggestion would be to NOT go to a club or anywhere else for that matter. Sounds like there are no baby steps for this guy. He's wanting to jump in both feet first and then suffer the consequences later. The bottom line is don't engage in anything if you're not comfortable with it. Please don't jeopardize your conscience and do something you're not ready for. Things need to be thought out and talked through thoroughly. Most of those SLS profiles are probably right. I am madly in love with my husband. We don't do anything the other isn't comfortable with and we both have veto power. If one of us is a bit uneasy, we both back out. You're not a rigid prude, but your husband sounds like a bully. Being disrespectful of your feelings and your comfort zone is not cool. If you're having this inner dialogue of doing it or not doing it, you're not ready. A lot of people think that swinging is a free-for-all. It's not. We've never gone to a party with expectations on our minds. Our only expectation is to have fun -- which we do. If something happens, well then, we had a little icing on our cake. If it didn't happen, we come home and make our own fun. If your husband wants to keep pushing you into something you're not ready to do, don't do it. Why in the hell you'd push for someone to do something they're not ready for is beyond me. I can't quite wrap my head around it. Maybe it wouldn't hurt for him to come here and get a little advice of his own. What you're describing would push me further and further away from swinging and from him. Don't feel bad for rejecting his idea of "fun". His fantasy is a common one, but he's spurring you a little too much. Jeez, I'm opinionated!

I do think it's a cop out, Sweet, and would also suggest that one shouldn't "wait until ready." One has to work hard to make himself [emotionally] "ready." It's not easy! When Laura and I married, we gave each other gold hearts. After her death I wore both of them on my chain. I was still wearing them when I went to Florida to visit White Fox. I realized there that I had to leave that symbolism behind. I no longer knew whose was whose, so when I gave one to each of our sons, the mystery meant even more to them and was an added release (and a milestone) to me. It was as if I had given our marriage to our sons. Alura