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This scene instantly pissed me off. The woman had put on a very convincing act over the period of several earlier meetings. Only in retrospect did I realize she was every minute under the watchful eye of her husband. It is almost certainly a good thing that my wife had taken the man by the hand and led him upstairs, leaving me and the woman to ourselves. Had we been all four in one room, she would probably have continued her Academy Award Performance all the way through the act of sex. Anyway, I then took her by the hand, led her up the stairs, halted the other performance-in-progress, and explained, trying with some difficulty to keep a calm, even voice, what had just happened downstairs. To her credit, my wife immediately understood the situation and made the suggestion, "we're all going to get dressed and go somewhere to talk." The idea of "somewhere" was to get them out of our house without seeming to toss them out, which they both would have richly deserved. We went to a tavern (in two separate vehicles) which is just a half mile down the road. I was rather hoping he would just gun the engine and take off without showing up at the tavern. My wife did most of the talking, a stern lecture, really. He was all apologetic; his wife sat in abject silence. I believe the snake was actually calculating a way he could still pull it off. We have never seen nor heard from them again, thankfully. Unhappily, he still keeps an online profile. I say "he" rather than "they" as I'm sure that profile is no initiative on her part. Regret to jack the thread, but somebody did ask.

It is really not just this forum, its swingers (and society) in general. Powerful special interest groups shaped culture with the sad line that sex is nothing but another outlet of the "male conquest of woman." The interests go one step further to spout that today's men should PAY for the "injustices" of past men by doing anything and everything we ask without question or thought. If men question, we label them as neanderthals or whatever you favorite male insult is. It is sad really because it discourages guys from expressing themselves which society has already been doing for countless ages. I wouldn't be surprised if in the not to distant future men just give up on us all together. I see it happening already. A couple of the younger girls I work with complain their boyfriends would rather play video games and have guy time than have sex with them. That's a first! As women we've grown accustom to asking without reciprocating because we just can't let go of the past. The only activation barrier for a woman when it comes to sex is getting past societal label like "whore" and "slut." We can ask for anal, oral, gangbang, bareback, etc and we are likely to get it. Men on the other hand can't ask for much more than just a chance to do it with us. If they asked for any of the aforementioned they 1) probably won't get it 2) if they did would have their manhood stripped away from them even by other swingers. A woman can have another woman with little fuss and it is even encouraged. Men on the other hand, good luck. How many gangbangs with 1 guy and 10 women do you hear of? It's not really an anatomy problem b/c so long as the guy has a tongue and fingers he could service hundreds of women lol! Again, its a double standard we allow because it "benefits" us at least at first glance. I'd like to start a true equality movement. I feel like the reason many women don't enjoy sex is not so much because of the man but because of how the man is treated. Let's face it ladies, we don't see guys as equals. We think they should just be happy that we allow them to do us. This creates a huge problem because if the "yes" or "no" is 90% of the battle for guys, then a man will focus his energy just on getting a seat at the table instead of cooking a really good dish (quality)!!

Zay is certainly insightful - there is a certain element of rose-colored glasses and you will hear positive reviews from many on this forum because we are successful in swinging. Here's ours: It changed us for the better. Most mornings after, including the first time, we are more hungry for one another. While sex with others is fun, it's not that kind of emotional, deep, and meaningful physical connection shared between two people that love each other. I've always known the difference between sex and love and I think that's key - for us casual sex doesn't lead to emotional entanglement and it never did, even before swinging. In my opinion, that mindset is a good indicator whether or not you'll be successful in the lifestyle. The choice to enter the world of non-monogamy is one to be carefully dissected and discussed over and over until you both reach the same conclusion. It may take years of thought and discussion, and in the end the answer might be "no". If you decide to dip your toes in the water, move cautiously and slowly - pausing each step along the way to not only savor the journey, but also ensure that your relationship is strong and intact before moving to the next level.

Some people just aren't 'wired' to have sex with others without getting emotionally attached and threatening the primary relationship. The problem is, by the time you find out which one you are, it might be too late. The fact that you are so hesitant is smart and could be a product of a healthy and loving relationship. If you are going to tinker with it, do it with your eyes wide open. The people on here are the 'succesful' swingers, so you'll get some good advice but also rose colored glasses. I noticed you started another thread asking for horror stories. I've found that some people here seem to be hesitant about talking about the possible 'dark side' of the lifestyle so don't expect that thread to fill up too quickly. I guess they don't want to scare people away from trying but I think that is the wrong attitude to take. You guys want to be educated so you can make an informed decision. That education involves the good and the bad. My 2 cents, If you are going to move foward on this.......crawl. Ps. How did you come to the idea to try?