Leaderboard

Yeah, it's tough for people to step outside their emotional state and offer logical reasoning. I am not suggesting you get to the absolute logical explanation of it. I am suggesting you empathize with her emotional reaction during the night and now during the aftermath. It's not a right vs. wrong thing; it's empathizing with how she feels so you can come together and move forward.

The best thing I can suggest is the familiar prescription of talking with each other about how each of you feel. It is important for each of you to own your own feelings and to discuss them in a non judgmental way. If each of you are going to understand the other than you have to hear what the other is saying. For example you have laid out 5 complaints you had based on your perception of what was happening. Some of these are judgements on your part. You also stated that when you tried to talk you were met with "denial and defiance." Do you know if that is due to your judgmental statements or does she simply remember a different set of facts? You say she breached your boundaries. Does she agree and if not why do each of you see what happened differently? These are some example topics that need to be discussed until both of you are comfortable with each other and are willing to go back to the club.