I am going to give the rose colored and the other side of story regarding the morning after.
The morning after our first experience was basically comprised of Mrs D and I screwing like we hadn't seen each other in while..... Then we talked about the prior evening, went to breakfast and then went back to bed... The swap experience itself wasn't that good but the connection after was worth it to both of us! A month later when we finally had a really good swap experience the morning after was something I won't forget in a while. I remember thinking later that day that the morning after is kind of like rediscovering my wife. For the first few months the morning after was something I looked forward to everytime we went out.
A couple of months later though the newness of swapping had diminished a little and I started to question many the things that were going on. Sometimes the morning after was really good and other times I was left thinking this whole swing thing just wasn't for me. For us it took a while for the insecurities to surface, probably because we were both having a lot of fun and that fun was drowning issues that slowly rose to the surface. A couple of times the morning after was a heated discussion about what happened, primarily revolving around various pressures that I was beginning to feel regarding the direction Mrs D and I each wanted to go.
Presently we are back on the morning afters are incredible.....but that is because we both have a much better understanding of what we each want, what makes each of us uncomfortable, and what we are willing to let each other do. I think that no matter how much talking we did before we actually swung we still would have followed a similar track. There is simply no way that talking about it is the same as doing it. It is also abundantly clear to me that for all the admonition you hear on this board about being honest with each other it isn't as easy as it seams. Primarily because we arent always honest with ourselves about what we are feeling and in my case I did not want to disappoint or detract from the fun my wife was having.
So we've run the gamut of "morning afters", from pissed off at each other to making incredible reconnections. But why would there be any expectation otherwise? I think even the most succefull swinging couples have their mornings after where they arent eating a bowl of peaches and cream.