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We all have our limits, yours are obviously this side of interracial sex and GBs. Perhaps she lied because she knew that and didn't want you to judge her (as you are doing) based on experiences in her past. Whether or not you told her that there's no way you would have moved forward had you known those factors, my guess is that you've talked about enough things for her to have an idea of what things you might consider taboo. That said, I'm not saying she lied. I don't know her. What I do know is that she has some friends who seriously lack discretion and since they lack discretion it's possible that also stretch the truth or create stories where they don't know facts. We've had many instances where stories were created about things we had done (that never happened). People see us with certain other people and assume things are going on that are not. When people are drunk their memories can not be relied on; whether it's because whatever they may have seen or heard while drunk got muddled, or because later when they are drunk they muddle things, merging stories they heard with things they've seen elsewhere. There is only one person giving you a version of the truth here that you know well enough to take at their word and that is your GF. The question is do you trust her enough to take her at her word and let her past be her past? Or don't you? If you don't, things will only get worse from here. That said, you've already said that you doubt you see swinging in your future, and based on the fact that she still has a lot of friends in the LS, I do see swinging in hers. You might want to discuss that with her and weight it in your decision as to whether or not this relationship is worth continuing with.

Perhaps it is because of my unique experience of being cheated on as well as doing the cheating but there was a vibe that I was picking up throughout this thread and it has been making me feel uneasy. I know cheating is terrible. But to vilify every cheating person rubs me the wrong way. Sure, there are people out there that cheat without any thought of the consequences or the people involved in their lives. But believe it or not, they are still human beings. I honestly believe that the majority of cheating people don't go out and say, "You know, I think I'm going to go out and cheat." Life hands people situations that might be manageable for you but it could be devastating to someone else and can result in differing outcomes. On the forum, we've become accustomed to holding open communication between a couple to be the norm but it isn't for the entire world. Personally, I hate talking emotionally to someone face to face. If I'm angry or sad, my throat constricts, my chest tightens...I choke up. It is a lot easier for me to organize my thoughts through writing (which I probably why I write long rambling posts on the forum.) There are specific topics that individuals have a hard time talking about, even to their significant others--maybe even more so because you open up this hidden section of yourself and you fear that possibility that you might be rejected, misunderstood, or not understood at all. (And perhaps that's why the topic of swinging is hard for couples to breach.) For me, it was heartbreaking to know that the one person I thought would mourn and understand our loss through miscarriage didn't understand at all. It makes someone almost shut down a part of themselves to others because they feel like it is something that they have to do alone. My point is that we don't know the situation that couples are in where there is an infidelity. It's easy to sit from afar and say, "Bad, bad, bad! I would never do that!" Believe me, I did that. And it's easy to judge a person's worth and and mettle based on how we would behave. People make mistakes. Perhaps they learn from it and perhaps they have to keep making that mistake until it really hits hard to learn from it. Working through an infidelity is painful and excruciating. Forgiveness doesn't come quickly. Learning to trust again can sometimes feel unfathomable. But maybe working through a situation that results in a complete shattering of trust, agonizing to live through, and seems unforgivable...perhaps that is the ultimate test of the strength of a relationship. If love can be turned off by the switch of infidelity, what does that say about the power of love or the relationship? When I found out that Mr. Sun had been cheating on me for 3 years without me having any idea, I hated him. I truly did. I didn't want to see him. I didn't want to see his belongings. I didn't want to be anywhere near him. But you know what? I also still loved him. It was the oddest feeling I had ever felt. Here was one person that I hated very much but I also loved him very much. The years after were not always fun. Trust was rebuilt extremely slowly. And even though I forgave him early on, it's not something I've forgotten. And yes, cheating is a selfish act. But what person on earth isn't selfish in some way? Some are more selfish than others. Others barely have any at all but it's still there (like taking that very last morsel of chocolate truffle cake.) We all want to be desired, be attractive to others, understood, and loved. We need food, clothing, and shelter to survive. But we want a variety of other things in life to make us comfortable and happy. Some of us just go about getting them in the wrong way that can be hurtful to others without thinking.

Social group or not I can tell you from personal experience that a bucket mouth can create huge problems. We had to end a 30 year and 10 year friendship because of one loud mouth. The other swinging couples would probably side with you as they don't want the drama or exposure either. I think you did the right thing calling him and telling him off.