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It was far easier even five years ago. But now at 48 (me) and 55 (hubby), it’s getting tougher. Being clinical, but this still remains our modus operandi. Either we prospect together, in which case the guy knows right away what he’s getting into. Or I do the prospecting as kind of ‘married but looking’ and thereafter, when things move well and I’ve had a few sessions with the guy I subtly bring him around to getting hubby join us as well. Neither option is working as smoothly any more. To be honest, it’s hubby’s age. In the first instance, I know for sure the ‘MILF factor’ still works with the young ‘uns, but hubby’s age doesn’t aid progress any more beyond a few mail/skype exchanges with us. The second route is still working as the ‘starter’ (again, bcoz of the ‘MILF factor’), but doesn’t progress beyond very often. Recent examples: two guys I had a blast with just turned down my ‘further’ hints, so I opted out; one guy who agreed, met hubby and me together over drinks and then disappeared; one guy who agreed, also met us together and agreed further – but, when it came to the ‘crunch’ (in a hotel), politely took me away to his room. Any serious advice?

I don't know if it's "serious" advise but maybe it's time to advance the age of prospects. We are your age, we hunt together and are very specific in what we are looking for. Guys our age are more patient, passionate and make better long term friends although I understand if that's not your goal. A few years ago, I was brought in to a 3way situation although I was seeing the guy alone for awhile before he introduced me to his wife. I wish I would have had the balls to bail on that but didn't. I felt like I was manipulated. Best to be honest up front.

It sucks but there are more useless single male swingers than normal ones. It hurts both the couples looking and the men trying to find couples.