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I hope you don't mind but I looked at your previous posts and saw that your g/f had gone through an infidelity in a previous relationship. Even though you stated that you both had worked through your previous relationship issues, perhaps she has not really healed from the infidelity she went through. I am not sure if it was your idea, her idea, or a mutual idea to have you just watch while she engages in the fun but I found Julie's response to your first post on the forum to be very forward seeing in your situation: Did you two talk about the rules you have for each other with the other couple? It is your responsibility to share any rules you have and to also enforce them. The other couple isn't in charge of that. Yes, couples vary in their sensitivity and ability to ask before engaging in sex acts with another couple but ultimately, if the rules and boundaries you two set for yourselves are necessary to protect the relationship, then the consequences fall on both of your heads for not being clear with the other couple. However, if you two did talk to the other couple about your rules, then everyone is to blame for going beyond the stated boundaries and not enforcing them. Aside from that, I never really understood the reasoning behind unbalanced rules--the male can swap but the woman can't or vice versa. What's good for the goose is good for the gander, no? And if not, then I would say they shouldn't be doing any swinging. Edit: Also, going from her unwillingness to talk about the situation like an adult, I'd say that she has some maturing to go through in how to deal with relationships and the problems that can and will appear. Walking away and refusing to talk about it for days does not help a relationship at all. And making a one-sided decision that affects more than just herself should make you question her desire to make the relationship work. Swinging and relationships in general require communication to make it work. Relationships are work and if she isn't willing or able to put in the work to make a relationship work, then this problem will continue to pop up for her until she learns to deal with problems like an adult instead of like a child.