How did the lunch go?
One thing I missed in your first post was the fact that HER contact was supposed to be same sex and yet she was getting fingered by the other guy and used like a "sock puppet" by the O.M. before any of your so called violations.
So she can break the rules but you are toast if you even have the slightest breach.
Seriously I would walk away from this girl she really has some baggage.