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You need to sit him down over coffee and tell him just what you posted here. You also need to think about maybe going to a counselor to work on this. I am a big one on being open and honest in a relationship. He needs to take a step back and really be honest about if he is willing to toss your relationship in the trash over getting some strange once in a while. Don't go along to get along. That will blow up in your face and his at some point. Only you can make decisions that are going to effect the rest of your life. No one here can do it for you. My personal view of this is he is being the one that is being selfish about all of this. I would stop playing at all with anyone until you have this matter settled one way or the other. Might not be something the two of you need to be involved in any longer. You have to do what works for you. No one else. It is YOUR life. Good luck to you. Hope it works out the right way.

Hi there, welkom bij ons vriendelijke swingers forum I'm sorry to hear you got negative replies online. Have you found the swingers and parenclubs thread on the Viva forum, in the sex pijler, yet? It's a series of threads going on for years now and I find it very informative and friendly. But not nearly as many readers as here, of course, so welcome this board as well. We have never visited the Fata, only Monique in Wieringerwerf, so I am maybe wrong but I think the darkroom in the fata is indeed a grab-fest (but not completely dark). However, taking that direction to prevent communication sounds like a wrong solution. Just talk, look people in the eye, smile. Communicate. Or start the fun yourself and see who hooks on. Everyone is there with the same goal, so no need to be shy. Be prepared to be refused. And be prepared to asked to join. And don't take it too seriously. No special signs, just the friendly you two!

Well, Shore2Please, you've heard a couple of different perspectives on female bi play. What you've heard rings true to me (Mr. CoupleInMD79), even though some of it may sound contradictory. There does seem to be a fair amount of girl-girl play in the lifestyle. The Mrs. was not oriented that way at all before we started playing, but she has had a few experiments and seems to enjoy equitable F-F fooling around above the belt, and is OK with receiving below the belt. Some people would say that makes her a "pillow princess"! But she will not allow her swinger-site profiles to show her as bi-anything, because she doesn't want people to get their expectations up for F-F play. I think if you make it clear that you are good with receiving oral, but uncomfortable with performing oral on the woman, then the woman can make her own decision about whether she wants to play that way. If she feels that it's an unfair scenario, she can pass on it with no harm and no foul. I do encourage you to keep an open mind, however. I hope you will allow for the possibility that, one night, you may be in the mood to go down there and try it for yourself! My Mrs. has done that on very rare occasions, where she has felt really comfortable with the woman and the situation. She doesn't feel like she quite knows how to do it right, but I think she is kinda proud of herself for trying it!

According to Webster (true story ) "gang bang" [noun] copulation by several persons in succession with the same passive partner. And "several" is [adj] more than two but not very many. Who knew Webster could be kinky

Sorry you are having to go through this. To be totally honest, this was destined to fail from the moment it got started, when he put up a profile without your knowledge. The fact that you consequently enjoyed the MFM threesomes and some aspects of swinging doesn't cancel out that the whole thing started on a foundation of dishonesty, and that's a foundation that won't hold up over the long haul. I think at this point, putting the swinging on hold is an absolute must. It's time to focus 110% on your own relationship, and if either of you isn't willing to do that, then there's not much else that can be done to save it. Should you all be successful at that, and we really hope you are, and then at some point in the future the topic of swinging comes back up since once that genie is out of the bottle it is really hard to totally put it back in, then I would look at it like this - He's up for couple on couple play; you don't like seeing him with another woman. You don't specifically say it, but my assumption is he is up for watching you with another woman; you are not attracted to women. He gets off with seeing you with other men; you have enjoyed that aspect of swinging too. So, the common ground there seems pretty obvious. If swinging ever comes back into the picture, it needs to be with the understanding what the common ground is. As you reminded him, that conversation never happened when it should have. If he is hellbent on having it all, and not compromising to find the common ground, then that is his decision to make and he will own the consequences of that decision too.

I found this thread to be an interesting read. The nice thing about a sex life, is that it can remain completely quiet. There is never pressure to put it out there. No one really wants to know, so you can state your beliefs without someone saying "if you are so pro-homo, is this part of your sex life??? HMMM??? If anyone does ask an uncomfortable question, it's really easy to put that feeling right back on the person bold enough to risk it. In the swinger community, which by nature is very discreet, sexual preferences should be right there for all to see. That's the reason for the meeting. But water cooler talk, nah. It's been my experience after decades in the vanilla world that swinging is accepted. Those who aren't doing it, wish they could express themselves more openly, sexually or not. People see swinging as an absolute freedom. Sure they'll sneer about STIs but informed people know that's just propaganda bs. Dropping the walls we spent a life building is admired, quietly.

You are not wrong for feeling disappointed and slighted. However, you must accept the fact that whenever you go to a house party like the one you described, there is always a possibility that you may not connect with anyone there. This occasionally happens to us, and whenever it does, we simply shrug our shoulders and look forward to the next party. The chemistry among the couples will differ at every party, even when the couples in attendance are mostly the same. It's entirely possible that some of the ladies at this party are open to playing with you, but it didn't happen on this night because they ended up engaging in some woman-on-woman play, first. The next time one of them sees you at a party, perhaps she'll play with you, instead. You mentioned that after several of the women went upstairs, you were left with "women I am not attracted to," and so you "stood away from these folks and just drank my drink." It sounds as if you were giving off an anti-social vibe at that point, so that likely destroyed any remaining chance you had to play that night. If you find yourself in this situation again, put on a good face and try socializing with the remaining guests, even if you aren't interested in playing with them. You'll have a better time, and you'll also come across as more attractive to people you do want to play with.

I would put everything else on the back burner, and explore with her the reasons for her jealousy. I don't think there's a need to figure out the logistics of your preferred swinging style until the jealousy issue is resolved. If the two of you can figure the jealousy issue out, and are able to resolve it to a level she is comfortable with, and can work through, then start looking at how to go about finding compatible partners.

Actually, our friends were barely out of the driveway and we were all over each other. It was like the swinging part was just foreplay. I liked the smell of another woman on him. A lot. How would your wife feel about a little reciprocity? Would she be okay with you having sex with another woman? When the experiences are one-sided, perhaps you run the risk of one partner losing sight of the other partner's wants or needs, and it becomes all about them. What are your thoughts about this?

"In succession" doesn't do it for me. My preference for a gangbang is multiple men pleasing me and being pleased all at once...not that many men in succession isn't a gangbang, just that my ideal situation is too. After all, I have two hands and a mouth and quite enjoy multitasking and the challenge of multiple men. In my limited experience, four men was a gangbang...but I think three men and one woman would qualify I have also enjoyed three men and two women with me as the sole focus. LUCKY ME!!