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There are good sane people out there, and lots of flakes who are doing their thing. We ignore the flakes and try connect with like couples. Can be a challenge on some of the sites.

I could definitely relate to that. Prior to meet my wife I had a long relationship with a woman and because she was traveling so much for work and had so much time by ourselves alone we brought the idea of an open relationship. The only difference with hotwifing and an open relationship is that hotwifing supposed to be only the woman having sex with others. So I was meeting women and her some men but the feeling I had when she met some guys was exactly the one hotwifing is. Like you Lionheart I wanted to know each details of her meetings and it was driving me insanely horny. With my wife we never did something like that. She has too different character than my ex and because she is so submissive leaving her alone would be totally out of control. It's my wife that is actually less turned on by the idea of being alone. She made me swear I will never let her alone with a guy. Not because she is afraid of what she might do but it is my presence in the room that makes her excited and safe. She likes the feeling that "I make her fuck other men". So, not really hotwifing with her but really enjoying that other men desire her and have sex with her. I believe hooked on that. She could meet other people much less often than I would like, but she loves it so much and would be very sad to stop that also.

It is your call to make, So I will bow out. A last word of caution. If you cannot be honest WITH your BF........Don't expect honesty, in return.

Admin note - enough of the insults and personal attacks. We've cleaned them up once and addressed the issue with the guilty parties, we won't be as forgiving if it continues.

Ask your boyfriend, "How do you feel about Group Sex, Darling?" Then explore fantasies, both yours and his, and establish fear-free communication. When you are sure you can ask each other any question without a fear of reprisals, you will be on your way to the deepest love you've ever known... and your mind-set will be free to swing. On our second date, Mrs. Alura and I agreed to never become angry because a question was asked. It worked for almost thirty years.

She finally did it! It all began years ago with us sharing rather innocent sexual fantasies with each other which morphed into wife sharing, which really got things heated up for us. Now we did have a good sex life, but we had been married for years coupled with jobs and kids and well you know how it can go. However, with all the wife sharing fantasy talk it was like we rediscovered sex all over again, it was great! Without going into too much detail she was enthralled by the idea of experiencing a larger penis that had some stamina attached to a good guy. Then when she finally realized I was serious about it actually happening. She was both shocked and turned on by the idea of it. So fast forward down the road the road a few months. I had been interviewing a lot of inquiries from one of the sites and found a guy that I thought would be what she wanted. I showed her the pictures that he sent both normal and naughty and she said to set up a meeting. Prior to meeting they texted and talked on the phone and things went really well. So the time came for dinner and we met and had a few drinks. Things were going really well with some flirtation between them so we decided to go outside to the car and have a more in-depth discussion to where we would not raise any eyebrows with our conversation. They both climbed in the back seat and I got in the front as if we were being directed to our respected positions. As it was night we were not worried about anybody observing. So we began talking and I noticed my wife started rubbing his thigh and his crotch. He smiled and leaned over to begin kissing her. That of course really turned her on and she began to take his bulging penis out of his pants. At that point she was pleased to put both hands on it and it still stick out plus feeling it's girth you could see and hear her breathing increase! She was a sight to behold. The kissing began to intensify with her stroking his cock with both of her hands and him pulling her tits out of her blouse. She was on her knees in the backseat and then he reached over to pull her skirt over her back exposing her finally shaped ass. At that point I reached over the seat and began to finger her throbbing wet pussy. She then asked if she could go down on him and without waiting for my reply she began to suck cock. That went on for about an hour when we had to call it a night but not without making plans to meet again at a hotel for the main event. FINALLY, after a long and excruciating few weeks were able to get our schedules to match in order for us to meet at a motel. My wife was very excited as well as I was to be able to witness her forth coming pleasure. He had already gotten the room and called us because we were running late. When we got there she went into the restroom to freshen up and had a brief conversation about my wife and how much we were looking forward to this happening. My wife came out of the bathroom dressed in a short nightie and sat down on the bed beside him and they were all smiles. They begin talking and at that point I excused myself to the restroom and only being in there a moment I opened the door to find them passionately kissing. So I took a seat beside the bed and with feelings of arousal and anxiety watched my wife pull his fully erect penis out of his pants and place her hands one on top of the other with a focused intensity around his thick 7" fully erect penis with all his head and some of his shaft sticking out and saw her begin to orally pleasure him. By the look on his face you could tell he was enjoying it immensely as well as was my wife. Needless to say I was hard as a rock! After about 15 minutes of my wife giving him head she got up on her knees and straddled him gently lowering herself into him while kissing him. You could tell by the look on her face and the sigh that she let out how she enjoyed his entry his depth into untouched areas of her womanhood. At this point he pulled off her short nightie and began squeezing and caressing her 34C tits as she rode him in ways she never road me making sounds as she tried not too while enjoying his manhood! Then at the point when she had tired herself out on riding him, he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her down to where her tits were on his chest and began thrusting he engorged dick up into her wet swollen pussy causing her to moan in pleasure with occasional grunts as I watched in disbelief as I saw my wife bent over on top of him being fucked like I've never fucked her by a man with a larger penis than mine that knew how to use it! It was the most incredible thing I had ever seen! As if that wasn't enough.....he turned her over on her back and proceeded to fuck her to her euphoric enjoyment in the traditional missionary position. It was so surreal to watch her clasp onto to him as well observe how much he shook her breasts with his thrusting. After a while he changed positions by laying on his side holding her legs up with her on her back and re-entering her to her undeniable approval. After what seemed like 15 minutes he asked her to bend over and without hesitation she stood up at the edge of the bed arching her sculptured back that tapers down to her waist sticking her oh so perfect ass out for him to grab onto for him to enter deep into her throbbing pussy. Now folks, seeing her ravished in this position was a sight to behold especially when he grabbed her shoulders for her to take the full brunt of his thrusting and that she did! After her legs about gave out she climbed upon the bed onto her knees bending over with him right behind her continuing to deliver her a sexual euphoric experience. This remarkable experience lasted for over and hour and a half and was truly out of this world. Unfortunately, he backed out of wanting a long-term friendship with her due him getting back with the love of his life. So now we're looking for the right guy for her for a long time friendship any advice or suggestions would be welcome.

Is it just about the sex for everyone? My wife and I have been married 14 years. Early on we had some threesomes with a few women we knew. Then a few months ago we met a new woman and ended up in the sack something like 10 out of 14 straight days. It was awesome and it got us back to thinking about getting into the lifestyle. We thought for a long time about a guy who could join us. We settled and agreed on semi-friend. We talked to him about it one night and he was all in. We've now had a bunch of fabulous nights with him too. He is married though so his availability is very limited and the lady we met recently fell madly in love with some guy (good for her!). So we decided to step out and take out some profiles on swinger sites and look around for others. Preferably another couple but singles as well. Anyways, our first experience out there actively searching has been pretty bad. It's always been somewhat organic in the past with friendships or at least a mutual respect already established. This is the first time we've talked to others with it being upfront that we're swingers. We're currently getting flooded with tons of dick pics or pics of some guy's wife with a 10 gallon bucket of jizz on her face. As if this is all supposed to get us going? Is this how the "scene" is? To be honest, what we enjoy has been the more subtle parts. The dates out, flirting, intellectual conversations, the playing around of course but in a classy, candles, back massages and sexy lingerie way. Everyone else seems to want to tell us how heavy their load is or send pictures with proof their wife can double shoe horn a group of guys with the best of them... Yikes.. No judgement... Whatever you enjoy. I just assumed there were as many swingers out there looking for sensual nights out as us. We haven't been able to find them though and that's been quite frustrating. Any advice? Should we be looking somewhere we don't know about? Is this just how it is and we have to wade through it to find what we want? Thanks!

Relationships are all about love, trust and communication. Swinging is all about love, trust and communication SQUARED. If you can't talk to him about this, then your relationship is already not as strong as it should (or could) be. I suggested before that you at least start talking with him about things: This will at least start a conversation where you can 'feel' him out regarding the topic. He might be fine with it. Heck, he might love the idea that it happened. Or it could be a deal breaker and end the relationship. Either way, it takes care of your guilt and answers the question of 'what may happen when he finds out'. If you can't be honest with him, you can only expect that he might not be honest with you and that is not ground that you can build a long lasting, stable relationship on. Either way, you will know where you stand. If it isn't to be, then at least you can start again and learn. If it is, then you can stop looking behind and focus on the future. Good luck and keep us advised as to how things continue.

Me, the husband, had an ex gf who had good friends into house parties and hotwifing. I was open to exploring, but only on equal terms. That gf said she was too jealous to share me, and while sharing her was arousing, the power imbalance wasnt palatable. That basically ended an otherwise very good, if brief, relationship.

"She likes the feeling that "I make her fuck other men". Women want to be "told" to be naughty, uninhibited, flirty, slutty, a sex object, get attention, be dominated and "made" to have uninhibited casual sex with a hot sexy stranger or couple. It takes away the responsibility and guilt, shame, conditioning they cant enjoy sex ever except with a husband, all that nonsense. Women are highly imaginative, sexual, lustful, erotic minded creatures completely evolved for multiple partner sessions. Insecure controlling patriarchy shames and fears that. You don't have to. Remaining dominant and telling her to do what she probably really desires too, safely, opens up worlds of thrills for you both. Just my opinion. And "go get laid" hotwifing is a power imbalance, it seems. Also seems vastly less erotic to not be there and enjoy, participate, etc.

Thank you @ whtasncpl . It made the most sense and covered the most ground. Not all men desiring this are cuckold, beta, bi, submissive. Speaking only for myself, it comes from the very opposite place of dominance, control, sexual mastery, alpha assertiveness. One of very few friends with anywhere near as much sexual variety and experience, married to a stunning woman, has occassioinally hinted at seeing sharing his girl(s) as a desire. They currently share women, but he's seemed curious about sharing her with men as well, and he's wholly alpha. So the excitement spans personality types and whatnot.

The question I want to ask you is would you be able to describe what in particular makes you so excited about this hotwifing experience and your wife on her own?

thanks a lot Luvin eye full! I believe one big part of the obsession seeing my wife fucked by other men, is the very string desire men have for her. Like she is so hot they just want her so badly. For instance, after reading your post, I uploaded some photos of her to probably provoke that! Out of the situation if not in control, I could be, very jealous. Let say some hot guy I don't know write to my wife a private message on Facebook, some guy trying to seduce her, I wouldn't enjoy it at all. Same when we have a mfm, I am not comfortable of any guy kissing her on the mouth. Even a guy trying to get into deep conversation with her. But, I am super turned on when a guy is fucking her if I'm there. Are we not complicated as human being?

Come on guys, let's stick to the "I" statements. One of the reasons I love it here is because discussions so seldom devolve into mud-slinging and name-calling. Hi Davdia. I have to agree with some of the advice you've been given: you've found out the hard way why taking one for the team is a bad idea...so no need to spank you for that, right? I think you're just at that point where the rubber hits the road. Things have gotten really real all of a sudden, and you're facing some conflict. Okay. So here's the good news: it's not the end of the world. The bad news is, that it can be the end of the world if you allow it to be. All of the hurts that we feel when our partner slights us by accident (as in, she surely did not mean to hurt you or intentionally make you feel badly, did she?), are our own invention. This realization was probably the biggest turning point for me in the lifestyle. Once I recognized that all the pain I imagined was being thrust upon me, was actually never intended...I created it for myself...I was able to let it go. It was me putting value on something that my husband had no idea I valued, and when he did something (or vice versa) that crossed that value, I was hurt by it. For example, the idea of full swap was off the table for us for a long time, because I still had it in my head that, in order for our relationship to remain "special" or sacred, we had to retain that one (supposedly) most intimate act for ourselves, or I would no longer be of value to him. Once we sorted out why that rule/value didn't make sense, it no longer hurt. So it was an 'aha' moment to realize that I had a lot more power over the things that hurt me than I realized. It was a paper tiger, and I'm the one holding the box of matches. This piece of advice won't surprise you, I'm sure, but I gotta say it: you just need to bump up your communication. Want to know how to tell if you're fit for the lifestyle or not? You'll look at this as a disaster, or an opportunity to improve your communication, your emotional intimacy, and just your relationship overall. So you guys made a misstep. Just means it's time to get your shit sorted: 1) Let her know that it's NOT okay to go without condoms without prior discussion with you, and THEN them. Invite her to come clean now if she had any idea that her play partner was going without. Don't get too upset about it - because you can relate to how difficult it is to put on the brakes in the middle of play if it's going to make things awkward, right? 2) Let her know that you see her confiding in you about her past, highly personal experiences as something that promotes emotional intimacy. For her to share that tid-bit with complete strangers before you - and then announcing that she'd never told you about it - was difficult for you to hear, and it hurt, so would she please be aware of this in the future? 3) Let her know that you were feeling a little vulnerable after the episode with your playmate, so while it's always important to you that you reconnect with her after playtime, it was especially important this time around. Her rejection left you feeling worse than ever because apparently she had more enthusiasm for Mr. Playmate than for you - or at least that was how you were left feeling. I'm missing some stuff here probably, but you can figure the rest out. Essentially, you want to figure out the root cause of your negative feelings from your perspective, and bring those reactions to her in a cooperative way, framing your statements from your point of view. 'This is how it appears to me'. Recognize that you might need to work on the way you react to things, and bring that to the discussion, too. It's not all her fault; it was just a misunderstanding, so make sure you own your end of that misunderstanding by letting her know you shouldn't have taken one for the team, and you should have hit the brakes much earlier on and been honest with her. Approach your discussion with only good intentions, and always giving one another the benefit of the doubt. Trust that neither of you ever wants to hurt the other. Hope this helps some.

The relationship that my wife and I enjoy is continually changing with the general direction being forward. We started with monogamy. Then we discovered swing. We then developed an open marriage. We now agree that either of us is free to visit with other mutual acquaintances for sex and other kinds of fun. There is no requirement that stories must be told after an encounter. And we still engage in swing the good oid fashioned way, couple with couple meetings including same-room sex. Until we learned from an esteemed member, FundamentalLaw, that it has a name, consensual non-monogomy, we did not understand it completely as a concept. The concept includes that there is no one way of doing it all correctly. Although it is not one of our practices, hotwifing is included under a concept like this. My wife and I stay true to each other and to our principles. That is sufficient for us.

I think we all need to pause and congratulate PSULioness on the news: Penn State will be in the Rose Bowl! Congratulations to the Nittany Lions!

Thank you because, it was the first time we put it out there; our secret fantasies we can't tell anyone about! A great feeling was to read someone that has similar fantasies, but experienced them, had a lot of fun and still has! It made our way through these experiences easier. A bit like it would be, anxious before to go to an unknown land, knowing someone that did many trips there already and telling you "hey don't worry it's lovely!"

A lot of great information on here, it helps put things in perspective and I agree with OpenMindedPair's repost.

I was introduced into swinging by my first husband, who knew of my 'past' in adult entertainment, but it is my current husband that I can honestly say is my equal in sexual appetite, energy, body physique and maintenance, and Bi orientation. Those that are new to the Lifestyle, it is best to have a partner who has dealt with their past issues and insecurities, and with some group experience. NO Jealousies allowed! Laura vegasnudecouple

Lots of guys are "situationally Bi" My hubby was that way before I met him, then he found out that I like to see my male lovers suck a cock with me. I am one of those gals that asks, "You want some?" while holding a massive cock in a threesome. I agree that it is a great way to see how a lover is secure with his sexuality and by the way, all mammals are innately Bisexual, it is our society that generates the rules. My current husband shares my feelings and bisexuality.

Based on my own experiences, I would hazard a guess that what you are feeling stems partly from "taking one for the team." I've only done that once and it was kind of traumatic. We'd been swinging successfully for a number of years and I love seeing my wife getting off with other guys, but that night watching her having fun while I was having a bad experience was horrible. Unlike you, I think I had the benefit of a lot of positive experiences to fall back on but I can still remember being upset, hurt and insecure. To answer your questions - Yes, I think it's you. Yes, you are being unrealistic. You are feeling this way because you are feeling shaken and insecure. You had a bad experience while she had a good one. Every single one of things that you list as being "most upsetting" are products of that insecurity. I do not believe that your wife deliberately slighted you or that this was some plot she came up with to have great sex while hurting you. She had a good time. She was relaxed and comfortable. She was, I am fairly sure, unaware that you weren't having just as much fun and would probably be just as disappointed as you are about it, if you weren't acting like an insecure schmuck. First lesson - never take one for the team. It doesn't end well. Second lesson - If you're uncomfortable, speak up. Third lesson - Don't blame your wife for having fun just because you didn't.

I'm going to say, I'm sorry, but I think this is all you. The minute you started to feel uncomfortable you should have put a halt to proceedings. That was your first mistake. I understand feeling insecure that she got off so many times, but the whole point was for her to enjoy herself,and if you're going to be comfortable in the lifestyle you are going to have to be ok with seeing men do things to your wife that you can't (because if they did what you do, what would be the point). Last time we swung the guy got me off so many times I literally curled up in a ball and said no more, my husband grinned because he was happy that I was so happy. As for blurting out a past experience, it hardly sounds like she told them her deepest darkest secret, it was just an anecdote that she thought was relevant to the moment that hadn't come up in conversation with you before. Can you imagine if you were at a bar with some friends telling a funny story and your wife got pissed because she hadn't heard it first, you would think she had lost her mind. Condoms break, no women can't always tell, give her the benefit of the doubt because she's your wife and you're supposed to trust her Damn straight she turned you down because she was sore, when you're sore you're sore. YOu don't always notice when you're in the middle of sex but 5 minutes later when the endorphins wear off, ouch. Here's what I think happened. You couldn't get hard so instead of being in the middle of a fun time yourself you were kind of bored and irritated and feeling insecure and your brain went into overdrive. Now instead of talking to your wife about your insecurities, and owning them, you're trying to make it all about the things she did wrong to make you feel that way. As far as I can tell she didn't knowingly break any of the rules you two laid out. SO you have to sit her down and talk to her about how you're feeling and add in new rules to try and prevent this from happening again. Perhaps you need her to check in with you more, so tell her that, she's not psychic. Perhaps you need reassurance that you can stop things when you start to feel uncomfortable (you can, at any moment). This isn't some marriage ending problem that you need to blow out of all proportion, it's a learning experience that you need to discuss with your wife.

I think people need to remember that there are just as many varieties of emotions attached to kissing as there are types of love. Before I married I loved others but it was never the same love. It felt different for each person, which is why chemistry is so important to swingers. I love my kids and my pets in a maternal way but still very different. With kissing it's the same, I'm going to kiss my swing partners with passion, lust, and even some love but none of that compares to the amazing love I have for my husband. The little love I have for swing partners is more in line with respect, compassion and a gratitude that would share themselves with me in such an intimate way. Remember folks, it isn't the physical act that gets you in trouble it's the emotion you attach to it.

This is all starting to sound like the Dr. Phil show. PSUlioness, there are many secrets that I am going to take to the grave. And I feel no guilt about keeping them to myself. And I do not consider my silence in this regard as a betrayal. Since being married, my life has been an open book. Sometimes I will relate a story because it entertains. But there are many things from my past life that are now irrelevant.

Did you and your wife have any conversation with the couple before playing? Did the couple say anything when you and your wife left? That's definitely not my usual experience. If another guy wants to join when I'm playing with someone else, he usually asks for permission, not just whip out his cock and stick it in my face. And I wouldn't ignore whoever I'm playing with and not say anything. Without knowing more, I don't think the problem lies so much with the single guy as with the couple you were playing with.

I think there are plenty of classy people in the lifestyle. And there are plenty of people who enjoy building friendships with the people with whom they play. And I'm here to tell you, a lot of those people can be found online! If you've got your profile open to singles, you're likely to get more of the one-track-mind, "Hi, wanna fuck?" Messages with a dick pic attached. But there are some good guys out there, too. It may just take some separating the wheat from the chaff. I agree with the idea proposed above to take a look at your profile. This is not in any way blaming you for the kinds of responses you are dreading seeing in your inbox. But I think there are some ways of expressing your desire to meet people who want to build meaningful friendships (along with the play), while still keeping things positive. I add the "keeping things positive" part because I have read a lot of profiles that are clearly from couples who have been burned or hurt in some way, and have written their profiles to try to discourage repeat performances of the situation that caused them grief. Unfortunately, some of these profiles come across as quite negative, which doesn't exactly help a couple to put their best foot forward! Anyway, if you're interested in getting some eyes on your profile, and maybe getting a thought or two about how to discourage the bedpost-notchers while keeping things positive, feel free to post in the Couples Profile Reviews thread!

I love to lick my wife's pussy after I cum inside of her. First I let her lick me clean, then I go back down on her (yes, I'm not an animal). My wife had hall pass sex and he didn't use a condom but even if I was there, I would not go down on her until she's showered. Unless he used a condom in which case I would eat her out. I would love to watch her fuck and suck off another man but I have no desire to purposely touch his cum. The other night after cumming inside my wife, I used my cum as lube and started with my tongue on her asshole and my thumb on her clit and quickly and simultaneously licked upward while rubbing my thumb downward changing pressure and meeting tongue and thumb in her dripping pussy and reversing course repetitively non stop for a few minutes. I would randomly insert a thumb or my tongue barely inside her ass or pussy very quickly while never slowing down. Licking and rubbing ass then pussy then clit then pussy then ass then pussy then clit and so on and so on. She came two more times and was left quivering over her pillow. We both loved it.