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While she likes the fantasy, could it be that she is afraid to REALLY admit her desires? Talking and joking about wanting to do something is far different than doing them. I know for me that I have always enjoyed "playing" with a woman. We use to soft swap/same room and the other woman and I would touch, kiss, etc. I never considered myself bi. But recently at a party, I went off with a woman and her BF. I was with her, not him. And hubby said to me-- this is something you should be honest to yourself about. And he was right....but even though I knew what I liked....it made me nervous to admit it out loud. Maybe your wife is the same-- she wants it but is afraid to admit AND act on it.

It would be hard to pass this one by, Sexy Kitten. It's time to move on. It seems you won't be giving up much, anyway.

Hey lifestylers, just wanting to get the opinions of fellow lifestylers. My wife and I have been immersed in the swinging pool for almost a year now. After a year she has yet to find, "that guy" that she wants to go full with. I myself have been with a handful of ladies at her request. I can only get into it when I know that it's what SHE wants and she is totally getting off on it. She even had to manually insert my penis into one of our partners.(it was so HOT by the way). Otherwise it's a no go. What I'm thinking is that we enjoy the atmosphere, sexuality and openness of the lifestyle but swapping may not be our thing. Being able to transition from fully dressed and socializing to sex in seconds is a turn on. We love hanging out with other openly sexual people and are both open to the experience should we meet that couple that we just can't resist but we haven't met them yet. I'm wondering if our dynamic is normal in the lifestyle? Are we too picky? Is it reaching to expect an earth-shattering connection before going forward? Are we truly lifestylers or just tourists? Our only social activities are with lifestylers (clubs etc.). Anything else is just too vanilla.

We were also converted by close friends. Of course we were all nudists and very comfortable with being nude around then. We did a lot of friendly flirting and playing around, which finally resulted in us having sex with them. It was a great way to get started.

I've tried Cialis, and 5mg lasted the entire weekend. If I took it on an empty stomach, I would get a headache. In bed it was awesome. I felt like a sexual superhero. I found that I didn't cum as easily while on it, which could be a plus for some men. For me it reduced the refractory period to almost nothing.

Good for you for not letting it fester, straight in sort it out ! I like your style! Hope it goes well for you guys

Hi, guys!! Long time no post!

I agree, it emboldens. It also made me appreciate myself more. Apparently I'm not that much of a loser, as I thought..

I guess not. But this is a couple who we make very planned dates with and not just for sex-- concerts, sporting events, dinner....we are even going on vacation together. We really thought we had that level of respect with them and it's why we are so stunned. You know, I actual asked that of the hubby in my shocked response to this revelation. He said yes. I am much closer to the husband then my husband is to the wife. The husband and I just really click on so many levels (only child, very talkative and outgoing, etc) and we talk all of the time. While my husband is hurt about this too, he has yet to contact the wife because he knows he won't get much of a response and because they are not the ones who drive our relationship; the other husband and I do. I plan on meeting the husband tonight at a local restaurant to talk this out.

We were "converted" by our friends. We were the vanilla couple, thought they were too. I found out my wife knew they weren't that vanilla and converting her and getting her to convince me, turned out great. I had plenty on this board tell me not to do it, that we might lose our friends. It turned out great. They are still our close friends and they have introduced us to some great people. We have even met other vanilla friends who weren't vanilla.

In my opinion, it isn't really that big of a deal, especially if you know them well and have had fun times with them. A lot of times people play with a few people in succession at parties and no one bats an eye. I would let them know it bothered you and see if they will agree to put you first in the future. People do make mistakes or do things that are hurtful without intending hurt. I'd give them the benefit of the doubt. They did confess in the end. Also, like Two4 said, rib them!

People make poor decisions choosing Golden Coral over Capital Grill. Fucking other people unknown to you and then initial lying about performance issues isn't a poor decision, its just deceitful and flat out wrong. What is known of these other people? Are they a couple you'd like to play with? Hope so since you both probably encountered some of their left over juice. What the hell is there to forgive? Doesn't sound like they asked for forgiveness, in fact, they seem to think that their behavior should be OK with you. These people didn't behave like close friends. Close friends would be much more concerned with your safety and with providing the kind of encounter you had come to expect in the give and take of your friendship. We would NEVER get naked with them again!!!!

Sounds like they both got laid before they got to you. And, they lied on a couple of different levels. You have to wonder, what else have they lied about. I don't think you should be hurt, you should be DONE with them! If your playmates are not honest with you, they're dangerous. Find new boink buddies.

You were right to do as you did- right to stop things immediately, and right to get the guy out of there. I hope the guy realized what he did wrong, and apologized to you both. Do not give yourself any grief at all- you were not the problem!

Same room is like a party. You hear and see what the other couple(s) is doing, it can be very erotic. If part of the reason you're swinging is that you want to see and hear your partner as they enjoy themselves, this is the way to go. Separate room in more intimate. You get to concentrate on the person you're with, without distractions. If jealousy is an minor issue separate rooms can help the situation. Both are nice.

Step 1 - you're attracted to another couple or single, you play Step 2 - if it was good, you play again. (and perhaps again and again.) Step 3 - Eventually, maybe, feelings develop between all of you and now you are 'friends with benefits.' It's happened to us. We had plenty of people that we played with either once or multiple times. One of those relationships morphed into a true friendship, where we would go over to their house just for dinner, or we'd go to movies. Sometimes without sex, often with. We even travelled together, even to Europe. It can happen. But just think, how many vanilla relationships do you have, and how many are true friends? Same/same.

It was actually Marie our dutch friend. We had, the 4 of us talked about our previous sex partners and that we had a good clean history. Then during a play session Marie said that if i wanted and Heather was okay with it i could fuck her without the condom. I didn't cum in her though at that point (In heather mouth if i remember:blush: ) The next again time we where fucking though, she ask me to cum in her. I looked over at Heather, who was getting eaten out by Jan and by the way she started to respond i realised it would also be a turn on for her. So that was it. After Marie and i had finished Jan and Heather were still at it. Her sucking on his cock. She looked over to me and said that she wanted to ride him. I realised she meant bareback and i just smiled and reach over and Kissed her. Then she lowered herself on his cock and started to ride him like hell. It wasn't long before they both started to cum and i could see that Jan was loving the fact he was going to shoot inside my wife and also that Heather was eager for it. It was a wonderful night as we fucked again, me Marie and Jan my wife knowing that we now had no restrictions. The first time i entered my wife after Jan had cum in her was a while later but was also amazing experience.

I think the internet has made the concept of swinging, and alternative lifestyles in general, more accessible. When I was 21, I had no idea what swinging was. Today, a 21 year old just needs to Google it. So, in that, I think information about alternative lifestyles are reaching more people. This has two effects: 1) people who might be suited to the alternative lifestyle but didn't know it are now more likely to join and 2) with broader general public knowledge, alternative lifestyles become discussed more openly and so more widely acknowledged if not accepted. In general, I suspect the percentage of the population of people mentally suited to swinging is relatively constant but now more of those people have greater access to the lifestyle.